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FEEL First Blog Post

Creating Meaningful Connections Through Emotionally Intelligent Communication

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My public relations/communication students and I have been discussing soft skills, including emotional intelligence (EQ), for several years.

More recently, the topic has come up in the context of relationship-building, specifically the role that EQ can play in building trust to create authentic, meaningful connections between organizations and diverse audiences. In the spirit of experiential learning, I wanted to turn these conversations into hands-on development opportunities.

Around the same time, I was speaking with Deirdre about her FEEL approach to communication. After learning more about her research and how it relates to EQ, I piloted an optional assignment in an upper-level, strategic communication course.     

Assignment Overview

There are three basic components to the assignment: 

  • Take the FEEL First test and obtain your score.
  • Review the suggestions, identify one and put it into practice.
  • Write a brief reflection paper regarding the experience.

Students had about two weeks to do the work. They weren’t required to share their scores but rather consider what they learned as a result of the experience.       

A Student Perspective

One student who completed the assignment, David James, a current UMass Amherst senior and communication major, felt that it was a personal confidence booster, as well as a jumping off point to better understanding public relations. He mentioned the importance of empathy, particularly for those who serve as chief relationship agents, to be able to “FEEL others’ thoughts, opinions and emotions on both a macro and micro level.” 

David, who is also taking business courses, shared that, “I might not have even appreciated that enough while learning it, but in hindsight now, it covers how we should always go about the PR process. Even in the most high-stress crisis comms situations, PR efforts would benefit from a step back, a deep breath and feeling out how each target public might perceive the organization’s message.”

Overall, this exercise provides an opportunity for continuous learning; one that’s designed to encourage taking a more human approach to communication to enhance interpersonal and organizational relationships.

Jennie Donohue is a Senior Lecturer & Director of PR Curriculum, UMASS Amherst.

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The FEEL First Pledge: A Commitment to Communication & Relationship Building

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How you FEEL determines how you communicate. It doesn’t take a scientific study to know this or to watch your emotions play out on social media. Think about how your feelings translate into actions, reactions and the words that come out of your mouth (or the words in your tweets and/or your Facebook posts). If you’re an optimist, then you will communicate as such. The same goes if you’re the opposite. As a pessimist, your communication would reflect this too. Take on any mood and it is likely your communication relates to how you feel. Now, think about this statement: Why wouldn’t you want to study, understand and improve your feelings, so that they play out positively in your communications and the relationships that result.
 
Optimism Helps Your Communication
 
As I sit here with the book, The Optimist Creed and other Inspirational Classics by Christian Larsen, both his book and his Optimist Creed (which is pinned to my wall) remind me of all that’s positive in my daily thought process and interactions. Being positive about others, having peace of mind, finding health and happiness, letting go of mistakes and moving forward toward future achievements are just a few of the elements of the Optimist Creed. Many of these ideals are learned early on in childhood and through years of life experience, family guidance, an educational system, and societal norms, they are adhered to or not. Hopefully, the former is true and you are a living testament to the Optimist Creed.
 
For Your Relationships: A Pledge for Better Communication 
 
However, what about your communication? Do you pay close attention to what you communicate daily, from the time you wake up in the morning until you lay down at night? Do you have a responsibility to yourself and to the people around you to care about the consequences of your words as they travel through your favorite channels, in any given moment? To my knowledge there is no Communication Checklist or Communications Pledge that you can print out and hang on your wall or post on your refrigerator. If there is, I haven’t seen it yet. Having the Optimist Creed on my wall is a reminder to me every day to strive for better and to keep a healthy and positive attitude. Having a Communications Pledge on my wall would be just as helpful.
 
I’ve been working on the FEEL First model for well over a year. My team has been diligently gathering data from a FEEL First test online that is scoring how much or how little professionals Face Fears, Engage with Empathy, Live with Ethics and Unleash Love. There are well over 6,000 answers in our database. From everything I’ve learned from my research journey, when you FEEL First you have a better opportunity to understand and manage someone else’s emotions too.

 

FEEL First Model
 
Of course, your ability to FEEL takes constant work … it’s a journey to be more open and to face what makes you uncomfortable. It takes a clear and present mind and heart to be more inclusive of others. It’s harder than you may think to be empathetic when sometimes you may only be touching the surface and you don’t even t know it. It’s not as obvious as you think to live with ethics and good judgment, when little white lies are a way of fooling your brain into larger transgressions. Lastly, if you’re not a demonstrative communicator it may be difficult to let the passion lord or the love flow.
 
However, the more you practice and also make a commitment to yourself that you can and will FEEL First in your communications, you will slowly move closer to this approach through all of your channels as you deepen your relationships.
 
The FEEL First Pledge
 
I mentioned earlier not having a Pledge or a Creed in communications until now … I’ve created a FEEL First Pledge as a reminder that collectively we need better communication. Practicing or saying a pledge daily will help you to move toward greater purpose through your thoughts, words, and actions to create positive impact. Having a Pledge, during an election year, the Coronavirus pandemic, and racial injustice that’s playing out across our county is necessary and needed now. If relationships are based on trust, then your communication is either the bridge that can help others or hurt them. 
 
Where Do We Go From Here?
 
Words matter more so now than ever. So join me in a Pledge to FEEL First and a commitment to share communication that helps your neighbors, family, friends and colleagues and takes your communication to a new level so you can make a difference. You can download the the FEEL First Pledge below.
 
Click image to download the FEEL First Pledge.
Click image to download the FEEL First Pledge.
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Advising, Guiding & Tips for Listening as You Navigate the “New” Normal

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Here’s another 555 or what I’m calling your “411” on advice, guidance, and tips to actively listen as all of us navigate a “new” normal in our professional lives.

Similar to my last two videos, the first “5” is my give to 5 pros who want to learn more about FEEL First communications with a complimentary consulting session (the getting advice part). Details are in the video below on how to contact me.

The second “5” is my shout out to elevate five pros who go above and beyond to share great content and their gifts with others. You’ll have to listen to the video to hear what these folks are doing:

– Patrice Tanaka (@sambagal), CEO of Joyful Planet

– Ryan Foland (@RyanRoland), Speaker, Author, Brand Strategist –

Dennis Shiao (@dshiao), Marketing Consultant, Content Strategist

– Susan Freeman (@susfree), CEO, Freeman Means Business

– Lindsay Griffiths (@LindsayGriffith), Executive Director, International Lawyers Network.

The last “5” is my 5 tips for actively listening. After all, if you’re not listening, then you can advise and offer guidance. Watch the video for these tips so you can build better relationships as you navigate the “new” normal. You’ll learn how being present, reducing technology, listening with your body, taking notes, and asking questions really helps you to tune in and focus.

Enjoy the 555 and let me know if you have any advice, guidance, or tips to help.

 

Advising, Guiding & Tips for Actively Listening

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Three Tips for Communicating in Uncertain Times

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We are in uncertain times. Your customers, employees, partners, the media and other important constituents are looking to you for helpful information. Unfortunately, a lot of the communication shared in uncertain times ends up confusing and frustrating these groups even more.  

As we witness the stock market lows, travel bans, event cancellations and more businesses asking employees to work from home, here are three tips to help guide your communication.

Tip #1: Stick with what you know — be direct and don’t share hunches and guestimates.

Tip #2: Show up with your Emotional Intelligence (EI) so you can respond thoughtfully and not react to challenging communication.

Tip #3: Appreciate the feedback you receive — it’s a gift — even the negative feedback helps you to learn and grow.

Here’s my video discussing these tips in more detail and how they can help you.

It’s time to FEEL First in your communication. I’ve been working on my passion project, the FEEL Model, gathering research about the type of communication that builds relationships and creates stronger bonds. In uncertain times, FEEL (facing Fears, engaging with Empathy, Using Ethics and unleashing Love) can make a difference. As the Coronavirus spreads and new cases are reported in the U.S. and globally, effective, meaningful and valuable communication requires a FEEL First approach.

Check out the tips and please share yours too. Together, we can lead with compassion and understanding, and offer helpful and accurate information to the people who matter the most to us professionally and personally in our lives.

Featured Image Photo Credit: Green Chameleon on Unsplash

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On March 24th, The #PRStudChat Community Discusses How to Land Your 1st Job Like a PRo!

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Are you confused about the public relations job search? Would you like to learn more about finding and landing an entry-level position in the PR industry?

In this #PRStudChat session, guest Jennie Donohue (@jenniedonohue), senior lecturer and director of the PR curriculum at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, will be joined by @UMassJournalism students to offer tips and insights to kick start your PR career and prepare for your future now.

Jennie, her students (#DonohuePRCases) and the #PRStudChat community will cover several topics during this chat sponsored by @SpinSucks. Join us Tuesday, March 24, at 12 p.m. ET for a dynamic, hour-long discussion about:

Q1.  What does the current PR job market look like?

Q2.  What are some tips for searching, both online and off, for entry-level PR positions?

Q3.  How can I make my application stand out from the crowd? For example, what skills and experiences are PR pros looking for in an entry-level candidate?

Q4.  What materials should I include in my portfolio?

Q5.  There’s a lot of talk about the importance of networking. How do I get started when I haven’t worked in PR nor have any professional contacts?

Q6.  How can I prepare for the interview?

Q7.  What are the next steps after the interview? 

Q8.  I’ve landed my first PR job. Now what? What can I expect to do my first year?

Q9.  What happens if I graduate and don’t get a job right away? What should I do?

Q10.  Any final suggestions for finding and landing a PR job?

As always, be sure to follow the #PRStudChat hashtag. You can tweet @PRStudChat, @SpinSucks, @LKPetrolino, @ValerieSimon or @DBreakenridge in advance with any additional questions related to “The Future is Now: Landing Your First Job Like A PRo” on March 24th at noon ET.

About Our Sponsor, Spin Sucks

It began with a simple question asked by Angela Hernandez, then President of PRSSA at Central Michigan University (CMU). “Is PR Right for me?” A follow up blog post by PR 2.0 expert Deirdre Breakenridge inspired a series of direct messages on Twitter between Breakenridge and fellow PR industry pro, Valerie Simon. This was an important question and one that should be explored beyond one student or one blog post. Why not build a community to help students across the country, and even the globe, learn from the experience and perspective of industry professionals … A community where everyone can learn and grow together. Read more

About Our Sponsor, Spin Sucks

Spin Sucks was started in September 2006 by Gini Dietrich, an agency founder, author, blogger, CEO, and creator of the PESO Model and PESO Model Certificate. Our mission? To change the perception of the communications industry. What began as a simple blog, soon became a movement. Spin Sucks is the number one PR blog in the world and the go-to resource for forward-thinking PR professionals who want to learn how to use the PESO model to implement the strategies and tactics that drive measurable business goals. It’s also a community where people have fun discussions, brainstorm, ask for help, and make new friends.

PRStudChat Sponsored by Spin Sucks

Save the Date: Join #PRStudChat on March 24th to discuss “The Future is Now: Landing Your First Job Like a PRo!”

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Interested in a career in public relations? Don’t know how to prepare for the job search? Join #PRStudChat and guest Jennie Donohue (@jenniedonohue), senior lecturer and director of the PR curriculum at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, on Thursday, March 24, from noon — 1 p.m. ET for the live Twitter chat, “The Future is Now: Landing Your First Job Like A PRo.”

Jennie Donohue, Senior Lecturer & Director of PR Curriculum, UMASS Amherst

Jennie, UMass Amherst PR students (#DonohuePRCases) and the #PRStudChat community will discuss how to find and land your first PR job. The chat, sponsored by @SpinSucks, will focus on the PR student experience, providing a guide for your job hunt including what the job market looks like now to what you can expect working your first year in industry.

About #PRStudChat

In 2009, it began with a simple question asked by Angela Hernandez, then President of PRSSA at Central Michigan University (CMU). “Is PR Right for me?” A follow-up blog post by Communication Strategist Deirdre Breakenridge inspired a series of direct messages on Twitter between Breakenridge and fellow PR industry pro, Valerie Simon. This was an important question and one that should be explored beyond one student or one blog post. Why not build a community to help students across the country, and even the globe, learn from the experience and perspective of industry professionals … A community where everyone can learn and grow together.

About Our Sponsor, Spin Sucks

Spin Sucks was started in September 2006 by Gini Dietrich, an agency founder, author, blogger, CEO, and creator of the PESO Model and PESO Model Certificate. Our mission? To change the perception of the communications industry. What began as a simple blog, soon became a movement. Spin Sucks is the number one PR blog in the world and the go-to resource for forward-thinking PR professionals who want to learn how to use the PESO model to implement the strategies and tactics that drive measurable business goals. It’s also a community where people have fun discussions, brainstorm, ask for help, and make new friends.

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Start 2020 with an Action Plan: Begin with FEEL for Real Relationships

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Happy 2020, friends! Here’s to a year that’s filled with happiness, good health, and prosperity.

When I look back at 2019, I realize it was an intense year for so many reasons. Every week was one of reflection and new insights with a 52+ week millennial research project.

Today, as a result of this reflection and realizing my research had uncovered a new Mode of Operation or communication model, I’m focusing on a FEEL roadmap in 2020; adding FEEL to all of my communications. At the same time, I’ll be helping other professionals understand why strategic communications can only get you so far in your connections and relationship building. FEEL is the stepping stone to real relationships personally and professionally. How much do you use FEEL in your communication through all of your channels? Now you can find out with the FEEL First Test.

I decided to evaluate myself and my ability to FEEL, by taking the online FEEL First test, which came together as a result of the deep conversations with millennials in 2019.

I was surprised, not so surprised, to learn that I still have some FEEL work to do in the areas of facing Fears, engaging with Empathy, etc. In 2020, I’m on my way to FEEL Mastery, which is the highest range of scores you can achieve. The FEEL First Test not only evaluates your ability to FEEL, in every area of the model, and in different settings, but it also recommends exercises to increase your level of FEEL.

And, so my roadmap begins and yours can too.

A huge thank you to all of those millennials who took the time to interview with me, and who wanted to share the value of communication, what it means to have trust in a real relationship and what they expect from the important people in their lives. You have helped me to get through a difficult time and to turn loss and sadness into purpose and focus.

Here’s my video discussing where my roadmap begins and how professionals and companies would solve a lot of their issues and communication challenges with the FEEL model.

Featured Image Photo Credit: Amit Jain at Unsplash

PRStudChat Sponsored by Spin Sucks

Join #PRStudChat for a Discussion on Beyond Graduation: Easing into the World of Communications

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What questions do you have about the transition from PR and communications student to industry professional? Jason Mollica (@jasmollica), a professor in the School of Communication at American University in Washington, D.C.  and Megan Wagner (@meganmwagner), professor of marketing at St. Bonaventure University are the hosts of the podcast, “Pints and Pizza with Professors,” where they offer up insight on life outside of college.

In this edition of #PRSTUDCHAT, we’re talking to Jason and Megan about preparing for life in your last months of school. On Thursday, October 31st at 12:00 p.m. ET, they’ll answer questions that will help you take a look beyond graduation and ease into the communications industry, such as what skills do you really need to cut it in marketing and real-world advice on careers, classes and more.

Some of the topics/questions Jason, Megan, and the #PRStudChat community will answer include:

  1. How can students best adjust to post-academic life?
  2. What classes in college (grad/undergrad) did you feel prepared you for your career?
  3. Was there a moment in your academic career that you felt you like you chose the wrong path?
  4. Are there skills that students are better off learning in college instead of an internship?
  5. How important are portfolio websites for students?
  6. How can academic changes and life changes help in guiding your career path?
  7. What is the best way to transition your social media profiles from “student” to “professional?”
  8. Is it appropriate to use academic projects as examples of your professional expertise?
  9. In the spirit of reverse mentoring, let’s share advice on how to stand out in PR and communications. Go!
  10. If there was one thing you could tell your freshman self, what would it be?

As always, you can tweet in advance to @PRStudChat, @SpinSucks, @LKPetrolino, @ValerieSimon, or @DBreakenridge with any additional questions you would like answered.

Get ready to learn the smooth transition from student to an industry pro with the #PRStudChat community. We hope you can join our Twitter chat on 31st at 12:00 p.m. ET!

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