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Grandpa Don't Worry Book Visual

“Grandpa Don’t Worry” Children’s Book Furthers the Mission to Explore Feelings & Values

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“Why did you pivot to add children’s books to your list of published works? It seems as if they’re on opposite ends of the spectrum,” asked a new acquaintance on LinkedIn.

“Yes, I can see why it appears as if business books and children’s books are on ‘opposite ends’. However, whether it’s the business books I write and the consulting and training I’m doing, or it’s the children’s books and the interviews I’m giving on parents and bonding with children, they all stem from a place of FEEL. Looking inward and managing your own feelings, helps you to connect, better understand and be receptive to the feelings of the people around you. Feelings and how you communicate them are at the core of every relationship.

We ended the conversation with my new friend and colleague wanting to check out all my books. I was happy to tell her that we’ve added a new one to the growing list!

So here it is …

 ‘Grandpa Don’t Worry: Another Whisper from Noelle’ was released by Outskirts Press on June 6, 2021.

The book, Grandpa Don’t Worry, takes Noelle’s whispers even further than before. If you’ve read our first book in the series, “A Whisper from Noelle,” you would know that an Angel, named Noelle, is whispering to the main character, Ashley-Ann. These messages help Ashley-Ann to learn what it means to feel and to discover important values that will shape her life. Ashley-Ann shares these messages with her mommy.

Tuning into to the whispers and exploring what it means to feel, including what to do when you’re afraid, what it means to be kind and caring and to trust others, and to be true to yourself, are all cornerstones of our 1st book.

Grandpa Don’t Worry exemplifies what it means to be empathetic. Through Noelle, Ashley-Ann learns what her grandpa feels and why he feels strongly about certain values or Loving Lessons. In the book, Ashley-Anne moves beyond listening and hearing to feeling deeply. She also expresses her care and love for her grandpa through important actions.

The Two Reasons We Wrote Grandpa Don’t Worry

First, in our books, we wanted to focus on trusted relationships, starting with Ashley-Ann and her mommy and now her grandpa. Eventually, Ashley-Ann will also receive messages about additional family members to strengthen values and increase their family bond. Ashley-Ann learns her grandpa worries and what this means to him and to her as well.

Listening carefully, placing yourself in someone else’s shoes (as close to their experience as you can get) and having a deeper understanding is the road to empathy. Empathy practiced in the home may lead to more empathy practiced in other important areas a child’s life: School, relationships, community, etc.

The 2nd reason we wrote Grandpa Don’t Worry was to pay tribute to both of our dads, Michael G. Skrobola and Irving S. Ziegler, who were the best grandpas to our children. They read, played, and spent time with our kids, and, yes, they would bring up subjects that had them worried.

In Grandpa Don’t Worry, we wanted our dads / the two grandpas to know that no matter the age of their grandchildren and great grandchildren, they were a large part in the shaping of feelings and family values. In fact, it was their Loving Lessons, mentioned in our book, which will continue to inspire our families in generations to come. 

Worry is a Part of Human Nature

Is there a bittersweet lesson here? Well, yes, there is. it’s often wishing that Grandparents and parents didn’t have to worry. However, worry is a part of human nature. After all the definition of worry is to give attention to issues whether they or actual or a potential unknown. We live in a world where news, social media, technology, and disruption may increase the feelings of the unknown. Our advice is to tune out those distractions and be more present in the moment and aware, especially when you’re spending time (those precious moments) with your children.

So rather than silent thought and stressful worry, why not get present and bring it out in the open, in loving and kind ways. Start a practice to uncover thoughts, feelings, and values early. Explore how different feelings will continue to shape your child’s growth and development, even when they are grown and on their own.

Whether it’s an angel, like Noelle, or it’s your inner guidance system that brings up these feelings and values, it’s important to explore them early. Is there an angel who whispers in your ear? These whispers may call attention to feelings and values you have as an adult and a professional, or as a parent tuning into your children. The best words we can offer are to explore feeling together and often.

If you want to learn more about Grandpa Don’t Worry, you can check out the book on our website. You can also purchase our book on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. All proceeds from A Whisper From Noelle and Grandpa Don’t Worry got to The Noelle Skrobola Outstanding Research Scholar Award at the College of New Jersey (TCNJ) where Noelle received her undergraduate degree in Psychology.

FEEL eBook featured image 061021

How Different Generations Face Fears [FEEL First eBook Part I]

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It’s here! I’m launching the first ebook in a four-part series, all based on the data and analysis of the results from the FEEL First Test online.

Here’s the “Why” Behind the FEEL Test …

The FEEL First Test is part of an ongoing passion project and research experiment. When my stepdaughter, Noelle, who was a Millennial, passed away in September of 2018, I wanted to know what Millennials were thinking and feeling.

Many questions crossed my mind. Rather than guessing, I set off on a research journey gathering qualitative data from over 100 interviews with Millennials. At the time, I didn’t realize I would be analyzing and using the data to build a communications model, an online interactive test, and a roadmap to help professionals be present, self-aware and more tuned into and self-reflective of their interactions.

I wanted to know from Millennials, who were born between the years 1981 and 1996, the answers to these questions:

  • How do you show up to your conversations?
  • Are you sharing your authentic self?
  • What do you value?
  • How do you want to be perceived?
  • How do you want the leaders / supervisors, managers and mentors in your life to communicate with you?
  • What do you look for from a leader, supervisor, manager or mentor?
  • What do you look for in a relationship?
  • What does it take to build trust with people, whether you’re on social media, at your company or in any setting?

The 100+ Millennials I spoke with had more to say than I had ever expected or imagined. The one-on-one interviews scheduled for 15 to 20 minutes started to turn into 60 and 90-minute conversations.

I encouraged the flow of the discussions and the transparent sharing of stories and feelings. Some of what I heard enlightened me, and the process was eye-opening to say the least. At the same time, what was shared was jaw dropping and unsettling, which led me to ask another very important question. 

Do you ever really know how someone feels? 

The Millennials I interviewed told their stories with passion and from the heart. They stated exactly what they were thinking and feeling. It was then I realized, in order to tune in, and truly embrace the verbal and non-verbal cues shared daily, you have to be present and aware in each and every moment. Those interviews and those moments really opened my eyes.

When I stepped back to record the data from the conversations, I saw an interesting pattern develop. Four buckets quickly emerged based on the stories, the sentiment and the insights shared for the questions I initially asked. Clearly, and overwhelmingly, the Millennials wanted the people around them (with a focus on their leaders, supervisors, managers, etc.) to:

  1. Be more open and inclusive, which meant they had to face FEARS.
  2. Show kindness, be understanding and have EMPATHY.
  3. Live with truth and transparency and show good judgment, living with ETHICS daily.
  4. Have passion and show it by unleashing their LOVE for important causes and standing up for what they believed in.

For me, those four buckets, and understanding each one, has become a life purpose and an ongoing passion. They spelled a word that can make a difference in your personal and professional communication. The word is: FEEL.

If you apply FEEL or feelings, at the point of every interaction, and each communication you encounter, then you are more likely to deepen your conversations and move toward genuine relationships. 

The word FEEL has changed my life and career journey, and it’s the lens through which I evaluate my communications. Applying a FEEL lens to your connections and communication helps to build trust, loyalty and advocacy with every interaction.

Having Emotional Intelligence (EI) means understanding your own feelings/ emotions and reactions. So, I ask you …

  • Are you self-aware? 
  • Do you have self-discipline? 
  • Do you exercise self-management?
  • Are you also self-reflective? 
  • Do you manage your own emotions, so you can tune into and handle/manage someone else’s? 

Pondering the questions further, I realized there was no test to evaluate whether you FEEL first, before you engage in communication with the people around you.

Of course, evaluating your level of FEEL or how open, inclusive (and not fearful you are), empathetic, ethical and passionate toward a cause, is not just for Millennials. It’s for all generations and every human being. 

As a result of my qualitative research study, which focused on Millennials, regardless of your gender, age, generation or profession, the FEEL First Test came to life with a goal to help you realize how you feel about yourself, the people around you.

    After collecting over 9,100 answers from about 350 test participants between February 2020 and February 2021, I’ve created the 1st ebook you can download with findings from the FEEL First Test.

    To get your complimentary copy of the ebook, How Different Generations Face Fears, you can fill out the brief form and download below.

    Download The Feel First Test eBook
    PR Planning Blog Post Johna Burke

    Measurement & Evaluation of Communication: Q&A With Johna Burke, GMD, AMEC

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    Even after 30+ years in the PR industry, measurement is still a tough subject for many PR people. The questions asked years ago when I was first starting out are still surfacing today. 

    There is no shortage of resources, from research programs to the case studies and accepted industry principles that are available. Even so, the questions are presented on social media, in PR departments and with professionals worldwide.

    In the spirit and format of my Answer books, I thought it would be helpful to publish a blog post that pinpoints the essentials of measurement beginning with PR planning. 

    Of course, who better to team up with, for this article, than Johna Burke, the Global Managing Director of the Association of Measurement and Evaluation of Communication (AMEC). I’ve been referring to AMEC for years, and even using their Interactive Framework in my classrooms at NYU and UMASS at Amherst.

    Johna has shared her answers to several measurement planning questions, which get to the heart of where you can start, when you want to set up measurement for your communication program.

    Here’s what I asked Johna, and you can see her answers below. We hope this Q&A helps you to approach measurement and planning with an easier roadmap to follow.

    Q1. What is PR planning?

    For the eager communicator, planning is the most important and often most dreaded element of any campaign. Planning is the ONLY path to demonstrating the value of PR and communication. Period full stop! When communicators report on activities rather than goals and objectives that correlate to overarching organizational goals, they unwittingly signal to their C-suite they are more invested in justifying activities rather than proving the impact of communication. 

    Even though there are many extraordinarily talented planners (I am not one of these people), in our industry, planning is not a skill everyone possesses. This being the case planning IS something everyone can and should be adept in. An effective plan should be simple. If your plan is a verbose jargon-filled-to-the brim-word-soup, then you are staging a project which is doomed to failure. Your plan should be concise and to the point, comprehensive and yet sublimely feasible. One should remember to identify the problem and include critical measurable milestones to identify success and failure along the path. These may include stating objective(s), goal(s), strategies, target audiences, expected outputs, possible out-takes, eventual outcomes, and impacts to develop insights.

    Success is not something that is only presented in the form of a colorful chart or a graph that correlates growth in ascending bars. When communication professionals invest time and resource into planning, they affirm their commitment to success. Success might mean following unexpected data to determine early enough into a program or campaign that something is amiss and requires change. Utilizing foresight and circumspection to invest in planning is the best affirmation to your executives that they can trust and rely upon your execution and evaluation of any given communication program.

    I often hear from professionals that, “my C-suite knows communication is important, but they don’t want ongoing measurement and evaluation.” My first suggestion is always to review and reevaluate your plan. If you do not have a plan, then the problem is with you and not your C-suite. If you have a weak plan that is inwardly focused on your team’s activities alone, the problem is with you. Now, suppose you have a well-developed plan? It includes measurement and evaluation at every stage so you can assess output and out-take performance. This insight allows you to amplify success and mitigates over-investment in unproductive programs. Yet, your C-suite still doesn’t support your holistic program. In that case, it might be time to reconsider your options and get a new job. 

    Often, I hear, “My Chief Financial Officer (CFO) wants a dollar value of communication.” My retort to this is simple and time worn. Minimizing a bad investment has fiscal consequence. Therefore, an effectively planned, executed, measured and well-evaluated communication effort only lacks the correlation to how your efforts are impacting costs or income of your organization. Success rests on a bedrock of preparation. Work to better understand the precise objective in the proffered requests and weave those values into your plan. Answer the who, how, why and what.

    Rather like scientific method one tests the supposition to prove the theory. Planning can therefore be defined as hypothesis validation. Successful planning almost always influences change, and, unfortunately, reforms to common practice are not always readily accepted. To achieve acceptance, try not to complicate objectives. Planning without first considering the consequences of your communication and PR efforts can be detrimental to one’s desired objective. In other words, do not throw obstacles in the path of your plan’s approval.

    Follow these logical steps and you will affirm why planning and effective communication is critical to your company or any organization. Side effect: your strategic planning will transform you into a trusted strategic counselor for your C-suite. 

    Q2. Can you define a measurable objective and why are measurable objectives important in your communication program(s)?

    Measurable objectives are the foundation of communication success. If these measurable objectives are not aligned with the overarching organization goals the communication team is just doing stuff, working without purpose. Bereft of measurable goals, individuals and teams tend to be ineffective and marginalized. Lack of accountability, direction and purpose erodes the inherent morale of the communication team and compromises any confidence the C-suite may have on its impact towards the desired goal.

    The most common approach is to start with a SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time-bound) objective. SMART is an age-old acronym that has stood the test of time. If SMART is good, then SMARTER (Specific, Measurable, Realistic, Time-bound, Ethical and Revolutionizing) is significantly better. In 2017, I added the ‘e’ and ‘r’ at a measurement and evaluation conference. Although it was well-received, the year 2020 instilled increased focus and importance on ethical behavior; performance and attribution proved more critical to the professional, the organization, and society than we had ever seen before; a communication watershed; a game changer.

    The term Ethical includes – among other things – an adherence to chosen language; how teams capture and use data, the sourcing of clean data, who they will communicate with and how they will hold a team or organization to the highest standard of value. Revolutionizing and evolving stated objectives is critical in order to fulfill the stated purpose of the individual, group or organization. When we prompt strategy with inspiration, communication efforts become more meaningful to the bottom line and consequently more compelling to the C-suite.

    When the communication team realizes the potential of measured success, the team becomes empowered and is more likely to push boundaries, improve activities, achieve outputs, and ultimately realize the impact of their message. The proliferation of communication data has accelerated communication objectives to those who dare to succeed, fail and try again. This is necessary to learn from any communication program.

    The biggest mistake of any communication professionals is the failure to recognize a stated objective for a measurable objective. Clearly stated and measurable is the ideal. However, measurable is the minimum standard required if one is to calibrate and quantify communication effectiveness.

    Example:

    Stated objective:

    Our communication efforts will increase awareness of our brand and result in a more active community.   

    Measurable objective:

    SMART: Using our Paid, Owned, Earned and Social channels we will increase our brand share of voice by ten perfect (from X to Y) during the second quarter.

    Add Ethical: We will source our content from clean data sources. (example: We will grow our community through a twenty percent increase in prospect opt-ins through our website. We will not use a ‘list purchase’ which is generally not GDPR compliant)

    Revolutionizing: The use of communication and data to revolutionize the impact of communication. (Example: Current data indicates a prospect makes seven visits to our website before opting into our community. Using integrated messages across paid, earned, social and owned channels, we will target calls to action by prospect profiles to accelerate the conversion of prospects in two visits to the website. This will reduce the conversion cycle by 45 days and put 25 percent more leads in our sales team pipeline each quarter. If salesperson close rates remain static, this will result in 15% additional Q2 revenue.)   

    With clearly stated aligned measurable goals communication can mature from a cost center to a profit center by offsetting costs through effective communication.

    Q3. What does the communicator, with little resources, do to implement better communications planning?

    Communicators may have varying degrees of financial resources, but every communicator possesses critical thinking, the most valuable resource of all. 

    Communication professionals should make sure their teams are committed to the International Association for the Measurement and Evaluation of Communication (AMEC) Barcelona Principles 3.0. These principles, originally adopted in 2010, updated in 2015, and most recently in 2020, are an excellent foundation for teams to rally around in their pursuit of excellence.

    There are seven principles:

    • Setting measurable goals is an absolute prerequisite to communication planning, measurement, and evaluation
    • Measurement and evaluation should identify outputs, outcomes, and potential impact
    • Outcomes and impact should be identified for stakeholders, society, and the organization
    • Communication measurement and evaluation should include both qualitative and quantitative analysis
    • AVEs are not the value of communication
    • Holistic communication measurement and evaluation includes all relevant online and offline channels
    • Communication measurement and evaluation are rooted in integrity and transparency to drive learning and insights

    The most recent update of 2020 includes the vital ‘what to and not to do’ guidance. This expands the resources of any size team dedicated to best practice. Thus, enabling them to empower themselves in both thought and commitment.

    Principle 1: Setting goals is an absolute prerequisite to communications planning, measurement, and evaluation. There is a reason these all begin and end together. The founding principle of SMART-Goals (specific, measurable, actionable, relevant, and time-bound) as a foundation for communications planning has been elevated to an essential prerequisite. It pushes measurement and evaluation as a core component of the planning process; articulating target outcomes and how progress towards these will be assessed. 

    As mentioned previously, planning is critical. It doesn’t have to be complicated, however, it needs to be strategically aligned with both organizational goals and objectives. Once you are aligned with your organizational priorities (understanding how your organization makes and spends money) you are better positioned to collaborate and more likely to tap into the full potential of communication.

    Teams with little resources are often the most creative. In contrast larger communication teams often miss opportunities by thinking small and fixating on their own activities and outputs focusing on what can be measured instead of what should be measured.

    For instance. There is nothing new under the sun and viral stunts and gimmicks are two-a-penny. Organizations need and thrive on sustainable success. Therefore, tactical thinking lacking in foresight and objectivity will always be a flash in the pan. Worse still It could potentially limit your credibility, ruin reputation, and erode trust with both internal and external stakeholders. By focusing your plan on building trust internally, you can help generate greater access to data and understanding.

    As an example, when you participate with other internal teams for surveys you can contribute with actionable feedback e.g., recognizing the difference in the varying stakeholders’ language and offering useful input to help define the message. If you can develop positive collaboration between advertising, human resources, marketing, and sales, then you will be able to attribute accurate impact caused, in full or in part, by your communication.  

    Q4. What tools are available to help communicators with planning?

    How does one go from a blank sheet of paper to the master plan? Just as there are innumerable ways to solve any problem, there are multiple planning tool options available that will allow the harried planning professional to select the one that best fits the needs of their organization.

    There are many diverse online tools in the marketplace for sale as well as pay-to-play consultants who specialize in planning at a price. I will focus on free tools that work for every strategic thinker with the ambition of acquiring effective planning strategies.

    My preferred recommendation is the International Association for the Measurement and Evaluation of Communication (AMEC) Integrated Evaluation Framework (IEF), a free online resource. This framework not only assists with initial planning, but also allows for contiguous resolutions that will impact your objectives, activities and tactics providing real communication value. By completing the requested fields in the framework, professionals can map their strategies and subsequent impacts, progressing them quickly from a blank page to a comprehensive one-page plan.

    The availability of password-protected credentialed access allows strategists to modify plans should circumstance or stakeholder scope change*. Professionals who use the AMEC IEF have the luxury and utility of a one-sheet solution. By utilizing the proscribed framework, they can share with internal stakeholders, recruit outside assistance, and ultimately hold team members accountable. The IEF is an ideal resource to keep your team(s) focused on the program’s most important elements. It allows contributors to understand the direct connection of their efforts to the plan, stimulating team member contributions and removing inherent barriers.

    This framework adapts to support customized local and global initiatives and can easily be reduced to an excel sheet. Teams are able to identify appropriate fields and populate them with activities and key messages: What is the objective? Who is the audience? What are you saying? How are you saying it? Who is saying it? Where are you saying it? What results are caused in full or in part by your communication?

    SWOT is another strategic planning tool:

    Strengths

    Weakness

    Opportunities

    Threats.

    Post-COVID, I expect CATWOE will be an important companion to SWOT.

    Customers

    Actors

    Transformation process

    Worldview

    Owners

    Environmental concerns 

    CATWOE will be an especially effective complement to your planning if your organization has moved from Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) to Corporate Social Activism (CSA).

    Finally, in my free planning tools list is the PLAY model from Mischief, which is available in the AMEC Planning Primer.

    P- Problem (What are the commercial and communication objectives? What is the current situation and why? What needs to change?)

    L- Look at the audience (Who are they? How are they behaving? Why?)

    A- Ask how you will earn attention? (What influences our audience? What is the convention in the category? What content will best influence the influencers?)

    Y- You’ll know you have done it when (what does success look like?)

    There are both simple and complex planning tools available regardless your expertise or budget. The most important consideration for you as a strategist is to ensure that whichever tool you use, the ultimate product of your efforts reflects SMART or SMARTER objectives, which align with your organization, mission and culture.

    Johna Burke is the Global Managing Director of the International Association for the Measurement and Evaluation of Communication (AMEC), A member of the Institute for Public Relations(IPR) Measurement Commission, is in the PR News Measurement Hall of Fame and was most recently inducted into the ICCO Hall of Fame. She is passionate about helping professionals transform their communication from good to exceptional by applying best practices combined with data and analytics.

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    Book Announcement: Answers For Ethical Marketers Published as a Guide to Good Business Communication

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    When I started my public relations and marketing career journey, I thought ethics and values always entered the equation. Every professional, journalist, and media outlet practiced ethical conduct. Naive, I know!
     
    What I’ve learned quickly, and, in some cases, with a big lesson attached, is that ethics and values are a personal choice and a professional practice. Defining your values and applying your good judgment in decision-making goes with you, down every road and at every crossroad. You do not leave your values at your company’s doorstep and automatically adapt their “best practices.” Suddenly, the ability to pause, question, involve smart people in decisions, and course correct are critical actions. Upholding the standards of truth, objectivity, accuracy, fairness, with a “Do No Harm” approach is also what you want to rely on every day. This way, at the end of your day, your integrity is still intact.
     
    Answers For Ethical Marketers Released  in April 2021
    Now, there’s a book with personal stories, shared experiences with business thought leaders, and plenty of questions asked and answered about ethical conduct in communications. I’m excited to announce I’ve collaborated with Routledge Publishing to release my book, Answers for Ethical Marketers. It’s the 2nd book in the ‘Answers’ series after releasing Answers for Modern Communicators in 2017.
     
    My new book is just the beginning of pressing conversations about ethics and values. Some we’ve had in the past and other discussions that are new due to ever-changing technologies and the evolving media landscape.
     
    Breaking Down the Book
    As for the writing process, there was plenty of fodder for the pages of this book. I wrote it during a global pandemic, the 2020 Presidential Election, and, at a time, when there was racial violence. Yes, challenges lie ahead, and leaders need to be ethical role models. They should be setting an example for their employees, customers and the other stakeholders they serve. However, is it just leaders and their communications teams responsible for ethics in communications?
     

    Who is the Ethical Marketer? Well, it’s you, whether you’re a marketing / PR professional, a business person, or anyone in the company who is communicating and sharing about the brand. That’s a wide range of professionals.  There are opportunities and challenges when it comes to ethics and values permeating every level and position in an organization. Answers for Ethical Marketers breaks down the landscape. The book starts by probing the ‘essentials’ of what Ethical Marketers need to know.

    Some of the chapters include:

    • Applying ethics through media channels in PR, digital marketing, and social media programs.
    • Delivering ethical communication through cause marketing.
    • Taking ethics into media interviews.
    • Learning the actions steps of leaders who are ethical role models.
    • Identifying your ethical mentors. 
    Moving Forward With Ethical Marketing
    I look forward to the discussions, passionate perspectives, decision-making processes, and highlighting the professionals demonstrating ethical conduct that speak to truth, transparency, integrity, and the character professionals need to uphold in their communications today. Yes, words matter, yet actions will always speak louder than words. At the same time, I realize we’re all human, and mistakes will happen. It’s what you do with the learning moments and how you move forward with action steps knowing that you “Do Well By Doing Good.”
     
    Answers For Ethical Marketers is a compass to guide you, and a resource to help you tap into your inner “Ethics GPS,” regardless of your organization, position, or the situation at hand.
     
    Here’s my video explaining the book and launch. If you’re interested in learning more, you can check out Answers for Ethical Marketers here.
    Buy The Book Here

    Answers For Ethical Marketers Book Announcement

    FEEL First Blog Post

    Creating Meaningful Connections Through Emotionally Intelligent Communication

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    My public relations/communication students and I have been discussing soft skills, including emotional intelligence (EQ), for several years.

    More recently, the topic has come up in the context of relationship-building, specifically the role that EQ can play in building trust to create authentic, meaningful connections between organizations and diverse audiences. In the spirit of experiential learning, I wanted to turn these conversations into hands-on development opportunities.

    Around the same time, I was speaking with Deirdre about her FEEL approach to communication. After learning more about her research and how it relates to EQ, I piloted an optional assignment in an upper-level, strategic communication course.     

    Assignment Overview

    There are three basic components to the assignment: 

    • Take the FEEL First test and obtain your score.
    • Review the suggestions, identify one and put it into practice.
    • Write a brief reflection paper regarding the experience.

    Students had about two weeks to do the work. They weren’t required to share their scores but rather consider what they learned as a result of the experience.       

    A Student Perspective

    One student who completed the assignment, David James, a current UMass Amherst senior and communication major, felt that it was a personal confidence booster, as well as a jumping off point to better understanding public relations. He mentioned the importance of empathy, particularly for those who serve as chief relationship agents, to be able to “FEEL others’ thoughts, opinions and emotions on both a macro and micro level.” 

    David, who is also taking business courses, shared that, “I might not have even appreciated that enough while learning it, but in hindsight now, it covers how we should always go about the PR process. Even in the most high-stress crisis comms situations, PR efforts would benefit from a step back, a deep breath and feeling out how each target public might perceive the organization’s message.”

    Overall, this exercise provides an opportunity for continuous learning; one that’s designed to encourage taking a more human approach to communication to enhance interpersonal and organizational relationships.

    Jennie Donohue is a Senior Lecturer & Director of PR Curriculum, UMASS Amherst.

    A Whisper From Noeel Book

    Announcing the Launch of a New Book: A Whisper From Noelle

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    I’ve spent years writing business books on PR, branding and social media. However, I never imagined writing a children’s book on what it means to FEEL as a way to help parents and children to explore feelings together.

    As I was working with professionals to FEEL First (my research passion project), which explores facing Fears, having Empathy, living with Ethics and unleashing Love, my husband, Mark shared that he wanted to write a children’s book as a way to honor the memory of our daughter (my stepdaughter) Noelle. 

    Then, I thought about about some of the resistance I’ve encountered in business around my FEEL model. Depending on your industry and company culture, showing your feelings in the workplace setting can be difficult for professionals.

    Together we had an “AHA” moment and something clicked! Mark and I knew that the FEEL “work” must start younger, with children and parents, in the home. So, I mediated one morning and right afterward wrote the story, A Whisper From Noelle.” Mark took the ball and ran with it. He worked closely with the illustrator and the publisher to bring the book, A Whisper From Noelle, to life.

    Children are impressionable. They are molded by their families in the home environment. Making sure you are present and actively listening to what scares your children, or what makes them happy, really matters. Helping children to learn what it means to be kind, caring and compassionate lays the groundwork for later years. Understanding why it is important to be true to yourself and to trust your “inner GPS” guides children more smoothly into adulthood.

    Our hope, passion and purpose is to bring grandparents, parents and children together so they learn, understand, discover and accept different feelings. After all, there is nothing more precious than the feelings of your children as you help them to find their way in this world.

    Mark and I have created a short video about the book you can access below. You can also visit our website to learn more about A Whisper From Noelle. All proceeds of the book go to The College of New Jersey’s Outstanding Research Scholar award.

    Please help us to celebrate the launch of our new book and the importance of sharing feelings in the home.

    A Whisper From Noelle Book Launch

    Final Version FEEL First Pledge Image

    The FEEL First Pledge: A Commitment to Communication & Relationship Building

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    How you FEEL determines how you communicate. It doesn’t take a scientific study to know this or to watch your emotions play out on social media. Think about how your feelings translate into actions, reactions and the words that come out of your mouth (or the words in your tweets and/or your Facebook posts). If you’re an optimist, then you will communicate as such. The same goes if you’re the opposite. As a pessimist, your communication would reflect this too. Take on any mood and it is likely your communication relates to how you feel. Now, think about this statement: Why wouldn’t you want to study, understand and improve your feelings, so that they play out positively in your communications and the relationships that result.
     
    Optimism Helps Your Communication
     
    As I sit here with the book, The Optimist Creed and other Inspirational Classics by Christian Larsen, both his book and his Optimist Creed (which is pinned to my wall) remind me of all that’s positive in my daily thought process and interactions. Being positive about others, having peace of mind, finding health and happiness, letting go of mistakes and moving forward toward future achievements are just a few of the elements of the Optimist Creed. Many of these ideals are learned early on in childhood and through years of life experience, family guidance, an educational system, and societal norms, they are adhered to or not. Hopefully, the former is true and you are a living testament to the Optimist Creed.
     
    For Your Relationships: A Pledge for Better Communication 
     
    However, what about your communication? Do you pay close attention to what you communicate daily, from the time you wake up in the morning until you lay down at night? Do you have a responsibility to yourself and to the people around you to care about the consequences of your words as they travel through your favorite channels, in any given moment? To my knowledge there is no Communication Checklist or Communications Pledge that you can print out and hang on your wall or post on your refrigerator. If there is, I haven’t seen it yet. Having the Optimist Creed on my wall is a reminder to me every day to strive for better and to keep a healthy and positive attitude. Having a Communications Pledge on my wall would be just as helpful.
     
    I’ve been working on the FEEL First model for well over a year. My team has been diligently gathering data from a FEEL First test online that is scoring how much or how little professionals Face Fears, Engage with Empathy, Live with Ethics and Unleash Love. There are well over 6,000 answers in our database. From everything I’ve learned from my research journey, when you FEEL First you have a better opportunity to understand and manage someone else’s emotions too.

     

    FEEL First Model
     
    Of course, your ability to FEEL takes constant work … it’s a journey to be more open and to face what makes you uncomfortable. It takes a clear and present mind and heart to be more inclusive of others. It’s harder than you may think to be empathetic when sometimes you may only be touching the surface and you don’t even t know it. It’s not as obvious as you think to live with ethics and good judgment, when little white lies are a way of fooling your brain into larger transgressions. Lastly, if you’re not a demonstrative communicator it may be difficult to let the passion lord or the love flow.
     
    However, the more you practice and also make a commitment to yourself that you can and will FEEL First in your communications, you will slowly move closer to this approach through all of your channels as you deepen your relationships.
     
    The FEEL First Pledge
     
    I mentioned earlier not having a Pledge or a Creed in communications until now … I’ve created a FEEL First Pledge as a reminder that collectively we need better communication. Practicing or saying a pledge daily will help you to move toward greater purpose through your thoughts, words, and actions to create positive impact. Having a Pledge, during an election year, the Coronavirus pandemic, and racial injustice that’s playing out across our county is necessary and needed now. If relationships are based on trust, then your communication is either the bridge that can help others or hurt them. 
     
    Where Do We Go From Here?
     
    Words matter more so now than ever. So join me in a Pledge to FEEL First and a commitment to share communication that helps your neighbors, family, friends and colleagues and takes your communication to a new level so you can make a difference. You can download the the FEEL First Pledge below.
     
    Click image to download the FEEL First Pledge.
    Click image to download the FEEL First Pledge.
    Roadmap Feel Media Training

    FEEL Media Training Roadmap

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    I’ve been media training executives for years. The training and exercises were focused on verbal communication and sharing the company’s messaging correctly. These thought leaders were tested in several media situations to see if they could answer questions accurately and in a way that always bridged back to the “talking points.” At the same time, they practiced non-verbal communication; what their bodies were saying as they shared these critical messages. Do the same media training techniques work today in a heated and highly emotional media landscape?

    A Different Approach to Media Training

    Let’s look at a different approach, one that goes beyond what you expect in media training. What you expect is only part of the equation when dealing with a passionate public and a polarized landscape, from the journalists who share the “news” stories to the audiences who watch, sometimes in awe or other times, in utter shock.

    There’s far too much going on in the news not to be human and to react. Daily, you witness what’s happening, from the coronavirus pandemic, the economic concerns and the reopening of business to the racial injustice, protests across the country, and the lack of civil discourse in politics in an election year. The news cycle is fast and furious, and emotions are running high. So what’s the other part of the equation? It’s to take an emotionally intelligent approach to your media conversations and to show up to your interviews and appearances with your EI hat on and your willingness to navigate increasingly tough topics. 

    Emotional Intelligence and Executive Interviews

    Why is emotional intelligence valuable wherever an executive shows up? If you don’t have a good handle on your own emotions, you will not manage others’ feelings. The rule applies to any of your stakeholders and important constituents. The media needs your emotional intelligence too. Building a relationship with journalists and their communities means being a trusted and reliable resource. However, this also translates into showing up to interviews with more than just talking points. You have to be emotionally ready to navigate difficult topics today and how they affect your business (even when you think it’s a “softball” interview).

    I could steer you to any number of YouTube videos of interviews with cable news hosts and their guests that have “gone bad” and the tweets and Facebook posts that go viral as a result. However, let’s not focus on the negative. Now, there’s an approach to listen, learn, understand, and to do better in your interviews. 

    You have to take a FEEL approach to your media interviews. If you’ve been following me, then you know that FEEL stands for face your Fears, engage with Empathy, live with Ethics, and unleash your Love. Your talking points and messaging are still relevant, and so is your body language. However, it’s also your job to tune in and learn how others are showing up and to uncover what they are feeling. 

    What’s their real agenda? The first step to finding out is to quiet your mind and to be fully present. You may be thinking, “If I’m prepared to answer questions, and I’m really good with my own body language then why does it matter?” When your mind is clear, and you’re open and understanding about what’s going on with your journalist, the media outlet, and the audience, you’re moving from one-time interview to more frequent opportunities and go-to-media expert. 

    Three Top Reasons to Take a Mindful Approach

    If there is any doubt about bringing emotional intelligence to your interviews, here are three top reasons to incorporate a new mindful approach:

    1. When you quiet the chatter, you’re on your toes, fully present, and much more likely to share a thoughtful answer than the quick, pressured response you may regret later.
    2. When your mind is clear, you’re also able to open your frame of reference. Taking the chip off your shoulder and checking your ego at the door helps you step back when you hear something that would typically cause you to have a knee-jerk reaction. Having a clear mind allows you to stop the constant knee-jerking. Instead, you’ll ask a question, which allows a conversation to progress more comfortably.
    3. When you’re fully present and open to hearing different perspectives, you’re also actively listening, which is a vital part of emotional intelligence. Of course, you’ll have more concise and helpful answers when you’re tuned in and listening. You’ll also be able to mirror back information that helps people feel validated about what they’re sharing, even if you’re not in 100% agreement with their views.

    If you’re interested in trying a different approach to media, then there’s a FEEL Roadmap with exercises to help you to FEEL First, a new way to prep for your interviews. Completing the activities on the roadmap will prepare you to not only deliver your talking points but also to show up with more than just your messaging. Now, you’ll be EI ready for any interview.

    You can download the FEEL Roadmap here.

     

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