Have you been watching ‘The Good Place‘ with Kristen Bell and Ted Danson? If you haven’t seen this Netflix series, then it’s worth a watch. The show is a comedy that gets you thinking about Heaven and Hell. It focuses on ethics and values, the choices you make in life, and where humans end up … The Good Place or The Bad Place.
Every episode is an ethical lesson demonstrating how the choices you make in life are compounded. When you make good decisions (with your values and good judgment) the effects show in the outcomes and the benefits you reap. At the same time, make some bad choices and those poor decisions are compounded too. The show also looks at how your decisions impact the people around you, whether it’s new acquaintances, friends or your family.
Watching the series leads the viewer to ask questions including:
What are my values?
Am I keeping score of the good deeds vs. selfish actions?
Are my decisions good beyond the immediate benefit, or do they have deeper positive outcomes?
Are my decisions bad and does poor judgment have more serious consequences?
These are all questions that require additional thought and only you can answer them.
My video discusses the series (don’t worry, no real spoilers here), and also shares three tips on how to make better decisions based on your values.
Remember, ethics are a personal choice and they’re a business practice. Your ethics and values go where you go, following you down every road and surfacing at every cross road.
How do you evaluate your decision-making and what are you doing for a positive compound effect?
When I started my public relations and marketing career journey, I thought ethics and values always entered the equation. Every professional, journalist, and media outlet practiced ethical conduct. Naive, I know!
What I’ve learned quickly, and, in some cases, with a big lesson attached, is that ethics and values are a personal choice and a professional practice. Defining your values and applying your good judgment in decision-making goes with you, down every road and at every crossroad. You do not leave your values at your company’s doorstep and automatically adapt their “best practices.” Suddenly, the ability to pause, question, involve smart people in decisions, and course correct are critical actions. Upholding the standards of truth, objectivity, accuracy, fairness, with a “Do No Harm” approach is also what you want to rely on every day. This way, at the end of your day, your integrity is still intact.
Answers For Ethical Marketers Released in April 2021Now, there’s a book with personal stories, shared experiences with business thought leaders, and plenty of questions asked and answered about ethical conduct in communications. I’m excited to announce I’ve collaborated with Routledge Publishing to release my book, Answers for Ethical Marketers. It’s the 2nd book in the ‘Answers’ series after releasing Answers for Modern Communicators in 2017.
My new book is just the beginning of pressing conversations about ethics and values. Some we’ve had in the past and other discussions that are new due to ever-changing technologies and the evolving media landscape.
Breaking Down the Book
As for the writing process, there was plenty of fodder for the pages of this book. I wrote it during a global pandemic, the 2020 Presidential Election, and, at a time, when there was racial violence. Yes, challenges lie ahead, and leaders need to be ethical role models. They should be setting an example for their employees, customers and the other stakeholders they serve. However, is it just leaders and their communications teams responsible for ethics in communications?
Who is the Ethical Marketer? Well, it’s you, whether you’re a marketing / PR professional, a business person, or anyone in the company who is communicating and sharing about the brand. That’s a wide range of professionals. There are opportunities and challenges when it comes to ethics and values permeating every level and position in an organization. Answers for Ethical Marketers breaks down the landscape. The book starts by probing the ‘essentials’ of what Ethical Marketers need to know.
Some of the chapters include:
Applying ethics through media channels in PR, digital marketing, and social media programs.
Delivering ethical communication through cause marketing.
Taking ethics into media interviews.
Learning the actions steps of leaders who are ethical role models.
Identifying your ethical mentors.
Moving Forward With Ethical Marketing
I look forward to the discussions, passionate perspectives, decision-making processes, and highlighting the professionals demonstrating ethical conduct that speak to truth, transparency, integrity, and the character professionals need to uphold in their communications today. Yes, words matter, yet actions will always speak louder than words. At the same time, I realize we’re all human, and mistakes will happen. It’s what you do with the learning moments and how you move forward with action steps knowing that you “Do Well By Doing Good.”
Answers For Ethical Marketers is a compass to guide you, and a resource to help you tap into your inner “Ethics GPS,” regardless of your organization, position, or the situation at hand.
Here’s my video explaining the book and launch. If you’re interested in learning more, you can check out Answers for Ethical Marketers here.
I’ve been media training executives for years. The training and exercises were focused on verbal communication and sharing the company’s messaging correctly. These thought leaders were tested in several media situations to see if they could answer questions accurately and in a way that always bridged back to the “talking points.” At the same time, they practiced non-verbal communication; what their bodies were saying as they shared these critical messages. Do the same media training techniques work today in a heated and highly emotional media landscape?
A Different Approach to Media Training
Let’s look at a different approach, one that goes beyond what you expect in media training. What you expect is only part of the equation when dealing with a passionate public and a polarized landscape, from the journalists who share the “news” stories to the audiences who watch, sometimes in awe or other times, in utter shock.
There’s far too much going on in the news not to be human and to react. Daily, you witness what’s happening, from the coronavirus pandemic, the economic concerns and the reopening of business to the racial injustice, protests across the country, and the lack of civil discourse in politics in an election year. The news cycle is fast and furious, and emotions are running high. So what’s the other part of the equation? It’s to take an emotionally intelligent approach to your media conversations and to show up to your interviews and appearances with your EI hat on and your willingness to navigate increasingly tough topics.
Emotional Intelligence and Executive Interviews
Why is emotional intelligence valuable wherever an executive shows up? If you don’t have a good handle on your own emotions, you will not manage others’ feelings. The rule applies to any of your stakeholders and important constituents. The media needs your emotional intelligence too. Building a relationship with journalists and their communities means being a trusted and reliable resource. However, this also translates into showing up to interviews with more than just talking points. You have to be emotionally ready to navigate difficult topics today and how they affect your business (even when you think it’s a “softball” interview).
I could steer you to any number of YouTube videos of interviews with cable news hosts and their guests that have “gone bad” and the tweets and Facebook posts that go viral as a result. However, let’s not focus on the negative. Now, there’s an approach to listen, learn, understand, and to do better in your interviews.
You have to take a FEEL approach to your media interviews. If you’ve been following me, then you know that FEEL stands for face your Fears, engage with Empathy, live with Ethics, and unleash your Love. Your talking points and messaging are still relevant, and so is your body language. However, it’s also your job to tune in and learn how others are showing up and to uncover what they are feeling.
What’s their real agenda? The first step to finding out is to quiet your mind and to be fully present. You may be thinking, “If I’m prepared to answer questions, and I’m really good with my own body language then why does it matter?” When your mind is clear, and you’re open and understanding about what’s going on with your journalist, the media outlet, and the audience, you’re moving from one-time interview to more frequent opportunities and go-to-media expert.
Three Top Reasons to Take a Mindful Approach
If there is any doubt about bringing emotional intelligence to your interviews, here are three top reasons to incorporate a new mindful approach:
When you quiet the chatter, you’re on your toes, fully present, and much more likely to share a thoughtful answer than the quick, pressured response you may regret later.
When your mind is clear, you’re also able to open your frame of reference. Taking the chip off your shoulder and checking your ego at the door helps you step back when you hear something that would typically cause you to have a knee-jerk reaction. Having a clear mind allows you to stop the constant knee-jerking. Instead, you’ll ask a question, which allows a conversation to progress more comfortably.
When you’re fully present and open to hearing different perspectives, you’re also actively listening, which is a vital part of emotional intelligence. Of course, you’ll have more concise and helpful answers when you’re tuned in and listening. You’ll also be able to mirror back information that helps people feel validated about what they’re sharing, even if you’re not in 100% agreement with their views.
If you’re interested in trying a different approach to media, then there’s a FEEL Roadmap with exercises to help you to FEEL First, a new way to prep for your interviews. Completing the activities on the roadmap will prepare you to not only deliver your talking points but also to show up with more than just your messaging. Now, you’ll be EI ready for any interview.
It’s official … the FEEL First Test is online and ready for you to evaluate how much you FEEL (face Fears, engage with Empathy, use Ethics and good judgment and unleash your Love) in your communication.
I’ve been asked, “Why the launch of the FEEL Model and the FEEL First Test and what will you learn from the data?” The answer is simple … to help business professionals understand the major components that build trust in communication and to move from connections and simple transactions to genuine and meaningful relationships. The data we collect from the survey participants will give us an indication of FEEL by age, generation, and profession.
Our Bright Shining Star, Noelle Skrobola, the Millennial behind the FEEL First Passion Project
This test came from a year’s worth of research with millennials. After about 52 weeks and 55+ formal and informal one-on-one interviews, the millennials who participated in my passion project answered pointed questions about their communication; how they wanted to show up, be perceived and what they expected and preferred via different channels from the people around them, especially the Leaders* in their lives.
The FEEL Test scores you on each part of FEEL and lets you know how much you FEEL in your communication (from beginner to FEEL Mastery). From my work and what I’ve uncovered from this passion project is, if you don’t FEEL first, then how do you tap into how someone else feels to build an unbreakable bond?
Along with social media intelligence gathering and analyzing conversations, the FEEL model is an approach that applies all parts of FEEL across communication channels to build genuine and meaningful relationships.
Take a look at the video which offers more details and please take the FEEL First Test. We’ll be gathering and sharing data in this ongoing project that launched after my Millennial stepdaughter, Noelle, passed away last September. It was Noelle who put me on the road to FEEL. I want to share what I’ve learned with you so you can FEEL First to improve your relationships moving forward.
*Leaders were defined as supervisors, managers and/or executives at their companies, business leaders at their favorite brands or brands they followed, and political and religious leaders.
Last September, the World Economic Forum published an article discussing what Millennials really want from businesses. What stood out immediately from the article appeared in the first sentence. “The global business community is being challenged by Millennials who want to change the world — and the results are going to be incredible.”
The article went on to discuss how Millennials want to create change and value takes priority. Financial performance should not be the only measure of success. They are focused on and want to see social change. The organizations that live by their values and bring them to life are the companies that will get Millennial attention, the benefits of their purchasing power, and their employment. As a result, businesses are actively working on becoming more socially conscious by placing organizational purpose over corporate mission and profits.
Although I’ve shared some of the ways leaders are disappointing Millennials in previous posts, here’s the good news … you’re getting a few things right in your communication and it’s appreciated. It’s not all bad for business leaders and brands that want to reach Millennials through their marketing channels or want to recruit and retain them in their companies.
From my research, there are several ways that leaders score positive points and can make a difference. Here’s what Millennials said when I asked, “Please fill in the blank. I LIKE a leader who …”
Speaks up more and shows a lot of corporate activism. Brands are more than their products and services today.
Interacts frequently with followers. The screen doesn’t exist and you can have a conversation.
Convey thoughts properly and effectively.
Takes the time to communicate through videos.
Shares direct and straightforward messages.
Communicates in earnest and follows up with action.
Leads with integrity and leads by example.
Inspires an audience and listens carefully to their thoughts and concerns and fuel the passion further.
Is vulnerable and authentic.
Shares some personal experience and knowledge; a leader who is compassionate and interested.
Basically enjoys helping others to become leaders.
By way of background, I started my research journey to really understand how Millennials show up to their conversations and how they want to be perceived. What surfaced quickly in my one-on-one interviews was what they expected from the leaders in their lives (bosses or managers at their companies, business professionals representing the brands they love and even their religious and political figures too) whether they’ve expressed this publicly or not.
After experiencing personal family trauma, I wanted to also learn why communication doesn’t always show how people feel when they share on social media or during their in-person interactions. That’s why it’s so important to show up to your conversations with a FEEL First approach.
Because, when you FEEL before you communicate, you:
Face Your Fears by you’re stepping out of your comfort zone and allowing yourself to be more open to the ideas, feedback, and information that challenges the way that you are programmed to think.
Engage with Empathy by actively listening and you’re able to put your own agenda aside. Taking the time to understand the details of someone’s situation is the first step toward compassion and walking in someone else’s shoes.
Use Ethics and your good judgment by exercising your values and beliefs with every interaction and being true to yourself through your communication.
Unleash the Love of your work, ideas, cause, etc. (you fill in the blank) with contagious passion and the kind of energy that makes people want to not only be around you but also to support your cause and collaborate with you.
If you’re a leader and you FEEL you’re not connecting and advancing your relationships or exciting the people around you (not just Millennials but anyone), then here’s are a few ways to address the “F” in the FEEL model that might help. Embracing open conversations, differing opinions and being open to change means stepping out of your comfort. When you’re more aware of how you show up to your conversations, and when you have an open and inviting approach, different actions will result, from the people around you.
Every relationship is different and precious in its own way. You work so hard to build relationships and when you make that special connection you don’t want to lose it!
Knowing this, how much do you nurture your relationships and how present are you in those interactions? When you want to build an unbreakable bond you have to show up and be vulnerable, transparent, honest, and compassionate, and with all of your passion in tow. That’s why it’s important to FEEL (face Fears, engage with Empathy, use Ethics and unleash the Love) with every encounter.
There are so many reasons why you should FEEL First when it comes to building and maintaining the health of your relationships. When you FEEL, you’ll be more present and open, your understanding and patience will increase, and you’ll be true to yourself and your values (which does not go unnoticed). You’ll also let your passion loose for others to get excited and for them to find synergies with you.
My FEEL First research and the accompanying model [Note: this is the 2nd iteration of the Infographic] came to life after the tragic loss of a loved one, my stepdaughter. I had to say goodbye to a cherished relationship. For me, relationships will always take center stage. I’m focused on the FEEL First approach to hold dear every relationship I have moving forward.
How much do you FEEL in the relationships you are forging? And, once you’re in a relationship are you still in FEEL mode? Here’s my video with more on FEEL First and how to take this approach to a new level.
I’ve been media training executives for about 15 years. Although the channels have changed, there’s still one constant. The media has an agenda. This statement shapes what most business professionals have in their minds about the slant or the bias of a media outlet. They also realize the importance of doing due diligence prior to a media interview and reviewing a journalist’s background.
However, in the spirit of FEEL First (facing Fears, engaging with Empathy, using Ethics and unleashing the Love to build genuine relationships), let’s take this discussion a few steps further. I’m going to show you how to take AGENDA to a whole new level … comparing your own AGENDA to the AGENDA of the media professional, blogger, podcaster, show host, who interviews you.
Let’s break down the acronym AGENDA, so you can really prepare and have all of your key points, stories, stats and sound bites ready and be mindful and present during your media interviews:
For this acronym, you have to identify your AGENDA as well as your interviewer’s:
AGENDA stands for:
What is your “Attitude” vs. the attitude of your interviewer? Social media conversations and past articles, blogs, comments, tweets, etc., will help you to figure this out. When attitudes differ it’s important to check your ego at the door, listen carefully, and be open to different perspectives. Also, be aware of the non-verbal cues including body movements and facial expressions that quickly uncover an attitude toward a topic.
What is “General Bias” or slant? What is your view vs. theirs and how can you be objective and ready for a conversation that will have various opinions, and, quite possibly, be wrapped in personal feelings?
What kind of “Education” is needed around the topic? If you are an expert, does your interviewer have the same level of knowledge and what about their audience. Nailing down the education part means coming across clear and in a way that people will understand you.
What’s the current “Narrative” on the topic? What have you been sharing vs. your media host and their audience? What topics in the news relate directly to your topic? They can, and, usually will, end up as a part of the conversation? So be ready!
What does “Data” tell you about your topic? Do you have your stats ready to share? Do your stats match the stats that the media outlet has offered and are they credible sources? For example, political polls and sources vary depending on the media outlet. Fox News shares one set of poll numbers and CNN will share another. Your accuracy matters.
Lastly, how does your story “Affect” your work or your life, and that of your interviewer and the people interested in your story? If you uncover how people FEEL, then you will enter the conversation with a higher level of emotional intelligence and an opportunity to make deeper connections.
Showing up prepared and being more present or aware of the AGENDA, will not only lead to a better discussion, but chances are you’ll also be asked to come back for more interviews.
Building a genuine relationship means becoming a trusted go-to source. You’re moving from pitching the media to being a regular authority or subject matter expert available for commentary.
Do you know the AGENDA before your media interviews?
If you’re interested in learning more about how to FEEL first and knowing the AGENDA before your interviews, here’s a video about a workshop on speaking and media interviews that may help you.
Social media continues to capture time and attention. Here are some of the stats revealing how much people participate in social media; where they spend their time; what they like to do and how often.
There are approximately 6,000 tweets shared every second on Twitter. If you were to break the numbers down, there would be about 350,000 tweets sent per minute and approximately 500 million tweetsper day. Can you imagine? That’s about 200 billion tweets per year, according to Internet Live Stats.
In November of 2018, the Hootsuite Blog stated that over 200 million people participated in Facebook Groups and there were about 150 million people who took advantage of Facebook Stories.
In August of 2018, 99 Firms reported that Instagram supports approximately 100 million images and videos each day.
According to MerchDope, in June of 2019, there were approximately 300 hours of video uploaded to YouTube every minute.
Social Media Workshop in Princeton, NJ
The social media numbers continue to grow. At the same time, people are still watching network and cable television, Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Prime. They’re listening to the radio and tuning into podcasts. They’re also reading online publications, blogs and curating stories through news apps. With all of the media available at your fingertips, if you wanted to get the attention of your customers and constituents, how would you show up and what would you share?
Let’s take a closer look at Millennials. They’re a growing population capturing approximately 50% of the U.S. workforce by 2020. With tremendous purchasing power, they are highly sought as a group when it comes to attracting and keeping their social media attention. But, what does this take?
I’ve been speaking with Millennials for the last six months, conducting one-on-one interviews as a part of my FEEL First before you communicate, Millennial passion project. Here’s what Millennial respondents told me about how business professionals and their “Leaders*” should communicate to get their attention.
Take a stand on the issue; if there’s something happening in the world or a particular country, let me know how you feel.
Advocate for something and show me you think beyond canned messages.
Have more passion for the cause; leaders should always have a voice and right now it doesn’t feel authentic or connected.
Watch out for the negative and outrageous; it gets more attention but it’s not positive or helpful.
Understand me and my realm; be relatable to my world and what I experience on a daily basis.
Give your unique take on something; whether you’re my supervisors or a public figure from one of the brands I like.
Use images that evoke memories and emotions and that show they understand who I am; through this understanding, you can present powerful words and photos.
Share personal community stories; go into the communities and get to know the social activists and well-known people who can create change.
Listen first … really listen; it’s hard to determine if leaders actually listen because retweeting is a form of listening but it appears everyone is just trying to get their content out and this is noise.
Communicate without remorse, and with a lot of bias and without supporting evidence; you’ll get attention but not my approval or loyalty.
Harness a particular social media platform whether you’re strong at Instagram, Twitter or Facebook Live.
Move to action related to your mission, so it’s not just the words on social media.
Take the unpopular belief that’s relevant; sticky popular messages are not held by the majority of the people.
Show empathy and be vulnerable; if I see someone sharing struggles or tough points in their career this gets my attention.
Share videos with subtitles, which can be powerful and long posts have meaning too.
Give the behind the scenes and things I would not see anywhere else.
Try humor, which gets my attention, especially if you’re not someone who is necessarily humorous.
Use a writing style that’s personal or journal-style writing.
Catch my attention by using colors and imagery that’s fun; it gives me a feeling of happiness.
Do an interview, on a media outlet that’s informative or interesting, such as Bloomberg and CNBC.
Respond to people; no one ever expects the CEO of T-Mobile to respond.
FEEL First Workshop in New York City
What are you doing to capture and retain attention with the people that mean the most to you?
*The term “Leaders” was defined in the one-on-one interviews as professionals at the respondents’ companies, business professionals speaking on behalf of the companies and the brands they follow or care about, or their political and religious leaders.