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Blog Contest Winner: Can Mastering the FEEL First Model Unite the Contrasting Generations?

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A Guest Post By Michael Matheny, MA candidate at American University and FEEL Blog Post Winner

The stark divides between the cultural norms from generation to generation have always been fascinating to me. The way time and the events of the world around us can alter the desires, aspirations, values, and fears of a population for decades to come is both invigorating and terrifying. By no means is this a recent phenomenon, curiously. In fact, history tells us that generational gaps have had impacts that rippled as far as outright revolution … the formation of the United States, anyone?

Let’s hone in on more recent years, however. War, fear, international isolation, and nationalism shaped an entire generation of people that now hold the majority of power and leadership in the western world — the Baby Boomers. Likewise, the polished, seemingly utopian “American Dream” based society that Boomers created as a result of their perceptions of the world resulted in a generation of those content with an exploitative system and the status quo — cue Generation X. The story continues to unfold, and it’s no surprise that the repercussions of the actions of generations before us have led to the collective mindset and headspace that Millennials, and further, Generation Z live in. Add in the digitalization of our entire planet at the turn of the 21st century, and you’ve got quite a bit of difference to unpack.

So how does any of this relate to the path to mastering the “FEEL First” model? How do we take an understanding of generational gaps and correlate them with leadership style, motivations, and the ability to connect with people? Deirdre Breakenridge’s research, as displayed in her ebook “The FEEL First Test: How Different Generations Face Fears,” gives us a great deal of insight on just that, breaking down how people born with completely different realities in their allotted time on Earth process and handle their experiences, and translate them into the action (or inaction) of facing their fears, engaging with empathy, using ethics, and unleashing the love of their mission in life. Sure, this data is useful for academic reasons, but the impact of what you can take away is much more significant. Deirdre’s collection of research can inform all of us of how we can understand each other’s fears and aspirations, find common ground, and ultimately come together to build a better world.

By Pew Research Center definition, having been born in 1996, I am a Millennial (although many would argue that I should identify as a Gen Y/Z cusper, or “zillennial.”) My relationships — personal, academic, and professional — span a much wider timeline. My mother, born in 1978, could qualify just as easily as a “cusper” between Generation X and the Millennials. My two younger brothers, born in 2000 and 2006 respectively, are quintessential “Zoomers.” In an academic setting, the majority of my professors are of Generation X, and professionally, most of my high-level leadership is from the Baby Boomer crowd. This diversity of age provides me with a rather interesting opportunity to gain observational insight on the values, fears, and habits of each group. Observational insight isn’t enough, however, to understand a population. In order to connect with all of them daily in a meaningful way, I must find a common ground approach.

Common ground can feel like an impossible place to get to, especially in the socio-political climate of 2021. Deirdre’s research shows that even outside of our socio-political beliefs, the generational gaps in our perception of the world can truly alter the areas of the “FEEL First” model in which we naturally excel. For example, Deirdre’s research notes that “Millennials are stepping out of their comfort zone less than Gen X, professionally and personally.” Her book also notes that in a 2019 Deloitte Millennial Survey, 44% of millennials responded as “feeling stress over finances, family welfare and career concerns.”

Stress, of course, is a defining feature of the Millennial population, and has a great impact over our relationships with our peers — academically, professionally, and personally. When I take this information and apply it to my own lived experience, it’s easy to justify a lot of my self-centered thought processes. This kind of thinking, however, is detrimental to mastering the “FEEL First” model. The reality is each generation has faced a series of challenges and uncontrolled environmental factors that have contributed to their general relationship with others. For Millennials, it may be the stress experienced by navigating an existence that isn’t quite as stable as that of their parents and grandparents. For Generation Z, it’s the cynicism of living in a society clinging to an idea that has never been attainable — the “American Dream.”

Understanding different world views and perceptions is critical, not just as it pertains to the “FEEL First” model, but as it pertains to my career in communications and marketing as a whole. To adequately connect with people and understand how to effectively communicate with them, mustn’t I have the ability to perceive the world as they perceive the world? To be able to step into their shoes, and understand reality as they see it? All of this is incredibly important, and as per my results from the “FEEL First” test, is precisely the area in which I need the most work.

Alright, so I’ve hammered in my point here, and I’m sure you’re thinking, “Great, yes. There are stark differences between the generations, their perception of the world is valid, it’s important to understand each other, and that’s not your strong point, blah, blah, blah. What are you going to do about it?” Well, I’m glad you asked. Working to master the “FEEL First” model is, of course, the big priority here. And as is noted on my “FEEL First” results, engaging others with empathy is my greatest weakness. Not entirely ideal for bridging the gap between generational differences, is it? To address this, I’ve developed a roadmap to actively engage those with contrasting values, perceptions, and realities.

Roadmap 

Commit to Action

The first step to creating any sort of meaningful change and elevating my ability to engage empathetically is making a commitment to taking action. With the information provided by my “FEEL First” test results, I can begin to target the areas in which I need to personally grow in order to build better relationships. For now, my percentages in the areas outside of “engaging with empathy” are healthy, and while not perfect, won’t be my primary focus (for now).

Say Less. Listen. Learn.

To grow as an empath, I need to plan on saying nothing. So often, we don’t listen, we wait to respond, and I am quite guilty of this. Understanding others at a deep level is active, not reactive. Now that I’ve committed to action, I will actively learn and understand others’ viewpoints, realities, and fears. And this doesn’t stop in my own personal sphere — I don’t have to know someone personally to attempt to simply listen. There are millions of stories to hear that, in this digital era, are readily accessible, and necessary. The human experience is a varied, nuanced mysterious avenue to explore.

Apply It.

Now that I’ve taken the “FEEL First” test, acknowledged the areas that require the most urgent growth, have committed to action, and have learned how to listen and understand the differing lived experiences of those in my world, it’s time to take what I’ve learned from the “FEEL First” approach and use it.

With newfound empathetic growth, and existing strengths in ethics, passion, and facing my fears, I should ideally be able to connect and communicate better than ever before.

Assess and Repeat.

Here’s the deal though; at the end of this roadmap is not a final destination. It’s an evaluation. The reality is, no one is perfect, and no one will ever truly reach 100% on each of the “FEEL First” categories. It’s here that I must reassess where I am, and whether I am truly living with a “FEEL First” framework. Perhaps my percentages in my stronger categories have weakened, or I haven’t quite made the progress I initially hoped for. With that, my roadmap restarts, and I travel down a continuous path to personal betterment.

Deirdre’s research indicates stark differences between age groups, and our lived experiences are indeed drastically different. But we can’t allow that to serve as a permanent roadblock between us and a better society. For me personally, learning to understand those of different lived experiences and how they face their fears, take risks, and perceive the world around them is vital to my success in virtually every arena — academically, professionally, and of course, personally. The roadmap I’ve created for myself to move closer and closer to the mastery “FEEL First” is fluid and intentionally vague. This roadmap broadly directs me, and perhaps anyone reading this with the same convictions as myself, in the direction of mastery, but the reality is, the process will be ever-evolving, and may not always yield the results that I expect.

Can mastering the “FEEL First” model unite the contrasting realities between the generations? Perhaps, perhaps not. But ultimately, any added degree of understanding that I or anyone else can cultivate with another group of humans is a giant leap in the right direction.

Michael Matheny, MA candidate at American University and social media manager for the Kogod School of Business

 

 

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Blog Contest Winner: Implementing FEEL in the Workplace

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A Guest Post By Haley Epping, Masters Student At American University, FEEL Blog Post Winner

The essence of the FEEL method is prioritizing communication and recognizing your feelings. Since our human nature is to be social beings, it is extremely useful to discuss the best communication method with your colleagues at work. Here is a six-step plan to help you and your co-workers implement the FEEL model into your workplace.

To complete this roadmap, plan a time with your colleagues when you can have an uninterrupted opportunity to discuss and be open with each other. After planning that time, make sure everyone completes the FEEL test and brings the results or a general idea of them to the meeting.

At the first meeting, be sure to set some ground rules such as privacy agreements surrounding colleagues sharing results and feelings. It is  crucial that everyone is comfortable and is open to learning. Constructive feedback can be very helpful, but in this case, limiting the amount of direct criticism is useful to ensure no one feels offended or attacked.

The first step of this roadmap is to discuss preferred ways of communicating. Since not everyone will communicate the same way, holding space to learn about your co-workers is an essential first step. In the FEEL First eBook on how generations face fears, the results showed that Millennials generally “prefer consistent and ongoing feedback and access to higher level meetings where they can state their ideas” (p. 11). If you are a Millennial, your boss may not know this is how you feel and will not provide this feedback due to generational differences. This is when miscommunication can occur because if a boss, who is a baby boomer, does not know that their staff wants consistent feedback and does not provide it. Millennials may assume they are not doing their job well. Instead,  the boss does not think consistent feedback is necessary. In this space, hearing colleagues share their feelings creates a closer connection, which may make it easier to communicate more effectively in the future.

The second step is to share examples of past communication failures. This can be done in two ways. First, the group can share constructive criticism about miscommunications between colleagues that are a part of the discussion. Another option is to describe miscommunications at your past jobs. Sharing examples gives people tangible stories to remember for the future, and it can be a therapeutic space for those telling the anecdote. These previous miscommunications may have occurred between two people of different generations, which would also provide more context for why the FEEL model is crucial. In my experience, many of my bosses who are older, millennial or boomer generations, do not use praise on a consistent basis. Instead, they wait until the annual review or if I asked for a mid-year review. In their minds, I am not doing a bad job, they may think I am doing great, but they do not go out of their way to tell me if there is not time devoted to feedback. Because of this, I think I need to change what I am doing to receive positive feedback. This is a clear miscommunication and stems from our different generational upbringings.

After sharing past negative experiences, the third step is to describe times where you have had clear and successful communication with a co-worker. Similarly, to the second step, these stories may be about current co-workers or past colleagues. Both narratives will provide value to this discussion. These stories may provide some comfort for those who have communicated in similar ways, or it could provide ideas to those who need to improve their communication.

Moving forward to the facing fears portion of FEEL, the fourth step is to discuss workplace fears. This can be a difficult step since it aims for people to be vulnerable, but it is critical. Sharing fears will allow colleagues to be empathetic with each other, which is another tenant of FEEL. This step also can provide comfort if other co-workers have similar fears or have in the past. Colleagues can collaborate on ways for others to conquer their fears and provide their own anecdotal advice.

Also, if there are various levels of management within this group, allowing upper management to learn about their staff’s worries could help them be more empathetic in the future. This can also make hierarchies less rigid in the future, which would lead to a greater flow of communication. According to FEEL data, only 15% of participants said they always stepped out of their comfort zone professionally. This means there is a lot of room for improvement for all generations. Challenging oneself can be extremely difficult and stressful, but when you are able to discuss these worries with co-workers, it allows you to hear other perspectives and hopefully receive reassurance.

After sharing all this information, positive and negative examples of communication, and fears in the workplace, the fifth step is to make a plan. This plan must be concrete and include perspectives from everyone involved. The goal of this plan is to create specific ways that your group can improve communication in the workplace. To ensure that everyone can see this plan, create it in a shared document or email the final version to everyone afterwards. One of the goals may look like this: After (colleague’s name) shares final products with me, I will provide feedback within 2 days. This feedback will include positive reactions and, if needed, constructive criticism. This is a specific goal that can be implemented on a semi-regular schedule and does not need to wait for end of the year performance reviews. In this plan, be sure to include a fear that everyone would like to overcome. It may be hard for people to write it down publicly, so an alternative could be to encourage them to write it on their personal computer.

Once a few months have passed since creating the plan, the final step is to create a time for the group to check-in. This time allows everyone to share if they think the group’s communication has improved, and what can be done to enhance communication further. Look back at the plan that was made last time to see if these written goals were achieved, or if they need to be modified. If they were not attained, discuss what the roadblock was. In addition to the interpersonal communication goals, ask everyone if they conquered a fear in the workplace. Reiterate that this is a judgement-free zone where people can speak freely about their successes or shortcomings.

Discussing fears may be difficult, especially if they were unable to conquer it, so remember to be supportive and, if possible, suggest advice for the future. Even though it may be difficult to continue group meetings on a regular basis, these check-ins can allow the staff to have a space to improve communication and work towards overcoming their workplace fears. It also provides an opportunity to change communication styles easily if necessary. Working on these goals will greatly strengthen your team’s collaboratively, emotional well-being, and efficiency in the long term.

Haley Epping is a Masters student at American University studying Strategic Communications with a focus in Digital Communication Strategies & Analytics.

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How Different Generations Face Fears [FEEL First eBook Part I]

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It’s here! I’m launching the first ebook in a four-part series, all based on the data and analysis of the results from the FEEL First Test online.

Here’s the “Why” Behind the FEEL Test …

The FEEL First Test is part of an ongoing passion project and research experiment. When my stepdaughter, Noelle, who was a Millennial, passed away in September of 2018, I wanted to know what Millennials were thinking and feeling.

Many questions crossed my mind. Rather than guessing, I set off on a research journey gathering qualitative data from over 100 interviews with Millennials. At the time, I didn’t realize I would be analyzing and using the data to build a communications model, an online interactive test, and a roadmap to help professionals be present, self-aware and more tuned into and self-reflective of their interactions.

I wanted to know from Millennials, who were born between the years 1981 and 1996, the answers to these questions:

  • How do you show up to your conversations?
  • Are you sharing your authentic self?
  • What do you value?
  • How do you want to be perceived?
  • How do you want the leaders / supervisors, managers and mentors in your life to communicate with you?
  • What do you look for from a leader, supervisor, manager or mentor?
  • What do you look for in a relationship?
  • What does it take to build trust with people, whether you’re on social media, at your company or in any setting?

The 100+ Millennials I spoke with had more to say than I had ever expected or imagined. The one-on-one interviews scheduled for 15 to 20 minutes started to turn into 60 and 90-minute conversations.

I encouraged the flow of the discussions and the transparent sharing of stories and feelings. Some of what I heard enlightened me, and the process was eye-opening to say the least. At the same time, what was shared was jaw dropping and unsettling, which led me to ask another very important question. 

Do you ever really know how someone feels? 

The Millennials I interviewed told their stories with passion and from the heart. They stated exactly what they were thinking and feeling. It was then I realized, in order to tune in, and truly embrace the verbal and non-verbal cues shared daily, you have to be present and aware in each and every moment. Those interviews and those moments really opened my eyes.

When I stepped back to record the data from the conversations, I saw an interesting pattern develop. Four buckets quickly emerged based on the stories, the sentiment and the insights shared for the questions I initially asked. Clearly, and overwhelmingly, the Millennials wanted the people around them (with a focus on their leaders, supervisors, managers, etc.) to:

  1. Be more open and inclusive, which meant they had to face FEARS.
  2. Show kindness, be understanding and have EMPATHY.
  3. Live with truth and transparency and show good judgment, living with ETHICS daily.
  4. Have passion and show it by unleashing their LOVE for important causes and standing up for what they believed in.

For me, those four buckets, and understanding each one, has become a life purpose and an ongoing passion. They spelled a word that can make a difference in your personal and professional communication. The word is: FEEL.

If you apply FEEL or feelings, at the point of every interaction, and each communication you encounter, then you are more likely to deepen your conversations and move toward genuine relationships. 

The word FEEL has changed my life and career journey, and it’s the lens through which I evaluate my communications. Applying a FEEL lens to your connections and communication helps to build trust, loyalty and advocacy with every interaction.

Having Emotional Intelligence (EI) means understanding your own feelings/ emotions and reactions. So, I ask you …

  • Are you self-aware? 
  • Do you have self-discipline? 
  • Do you exercise self-management?
  • Are you also self-reflective? 
  • Do you manage your own emotions, so you can tune into and handle/manage someone else’s? 

Pondering the questions further, I realized there was no test to evaluate whether you FEEL first, before you engage in communication with the people around you.

Of course, evaluating your level of FEEL or how open, inclusive (and not fearful you are), empathetic, ethical and passionate toward a cause, is not just for Millennials. It’s for all generations and every human being. 

As a result of my qualitative research study, which focused on Millennials, regardless of your gender, age, generation or profession, the FEEL First Test came to life with a goal to help you realize how you feel about yourself, the people around you.

    After collecting over 9,100 answers from about 350 test participants between February 2020 and February 2021, I’ve created the 1st ebook you can download with findings from the FEEL First Test.

    To get your complimentary copy of the ebook, How Different Generations Face Fears, you can fill out the brief form and download below.

    Download The Feel First Test eBook
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    Good News for Leaders, Here’s What #Millennials Like About You

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    Last September, the World Economic Forum published an article discussing what Millennials really want from businesses. What stood out immediately from the article appeared in the first sentence. “The global business community is being challenged by Millennials who want to change the world — and the results are going to be incredible.”

    The article went on to discuss how Millennials want to create change and value takes priority. Financial performance should not be the only measure of success. They are focused on and want to see social change. The organizations that live by their values and bring them to life are the companies that will get Millennial attention, the benefits of their purchasing power, and their employment. As a result, businesses are actively working on becoming more socially conscious by placing organizational purpose over corporate mission and profits.

    Although I’ve shared some of the ways leaders are disappointing Millennials in previous posts, here’s the good news … you’re getting a few things right in your communication and it’s appreciated. It’s not all bad for business leaders and brands that want to reach Millennials through their marketing channels or want to recruit and retain them in their companies.

    From my research, there are several ways that leaders score positive points and can make a difference. Here’s what Millennials said when I asked, “Please fill in the blank. I LIKE a leader who …”

    • Speaks up more and shows a lot of corporate activism. Brands are more than their products and services today.
    • Interacts frequently with followers. The screen doesn’t exist and you can have a conversation.
    • Convey thoughts properly and effectively.
    • Takes the time to communicate through videos.
    • Shares direct and straightforward messages.
    • Communicates in earnest and follows up with action.
    • Leads with integrity and leads by example.
    • Inspires an audience and listens carefully to their thoughts and concerns and fuel the passion further.
    • Is vulnerable and authentic.
    • Shares some personal experience and knowledge; a leader who is compassionate and interested.
    • Basically enjoys helping others to become leaders.

    By way of background, I started my research journey to really understand how Millennials show up to their conversations and how they want to be perceived. What surfaced quickly in my one-on-one interviews was what they expected from the leaders in their lives (bosses or managers at their companies, business professionals representing the brands they love and even their religious and political figures too) whether they’ve expressed this publicly or not.

    After experiencing personal family trauma, I wanted to also learn why communication doesn’t always show how people feel when they share on social media or during their in-person interactions. That’s why it’s so important to show up to your conversations with a FEEL First approach.

    Because, when you FEEL before you communicate, you:

    Face Your Fears by you’re stepping out of your comfort zone and allowing yourself to be more open to the ideas, feedback, and information that challenges the way that you are programmed to think.

    Engage with Empathy by actively listening and you’re able to put your own agenda aside. Taking the time to understand the details of someone’s situation is the first step toward compassion and walking in someone else’s shoes.

    Use Ethics and your good judgment by exercising your values and beliefs with every interaction and being true to yourself through your communication.

    Unleash the Love of your work, ideas, cause, etc. (you fill in the blank) with contagious passion and the kind of energy that makes people want to not only be around you but also to support your cause and collaborate with you.

    If you’re a leader and you FEEL you’re not connecting and advancing your relationships or exciting the people around you (not just Millennials but anyone), then here’s are a few ways to address the “F” in the FEEL model that might help. Embracing open conversations, differing opinions and being open to change means stepping out of your comfort. When you’re more aware of how you show up to your conversations, and when you have an open and inviting approach, different actions will result, from the people around you.

    Getting Millennial Attention

    #Leaders Listen Up: #Millennials Share what Gets their Attention on Social Media

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    Social media continues to capture time and attention. Here are some of the stats revealing how much people participate in social media; where they spend their time; what they like to do and how often.

    • There are approximately 6,000 tweets shared every second on Twitter. If you were to break the numbers down, there would be about 350,000 tweets sent per minute and approximately 500 million tweets per day. Can you imagine? That’s about 200 billion tweets per year, according to Internet Live Stats.
    • In November of 2018, the Hootsuite Blog stated that over 200 million people participated in Facebook Groups and there were about 150 million people who took advantage of Facebook Stories. 
    • In August of 2018, 99 Firms reported that Instagram supports approximately 100 million images and videos each day.
    • According to MerchDope, in June of 2019, there were approximately 300 hours of video uploaded to YouTube every minute.
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    The social media numbers continue to grow. At the same time, people are still watching network and cable television, Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Prime. They’re listening to the radio and tuning into podcasts. They’re also reading online publications, blogs and curating stories through news apps.
    With all of the media available at your fingertips, if you wanted to get the attention of your customers and constituents, how would you show up and what would you share?

    Let’s take a closer look at Millennials. They’re a growing population capturing approximately 50% of the U.S. workforce by 2020. With tremendous purchasing power, they are highly sought as a group when it comes to attracting and keeping their social media attention. But, what does this take?

    I’ve been speaking with Millennials for the last six months, conducting one-on-one interviews as a part of my FEEL First before you communicate, Millennial passion project. Here’s what Millennial respondents told me about how business professionals and their “Leaders*” should communicate to get their attention.

    • Take a stand on the issue; if there’s something happening in the world or a particular country, let me know how you feel.
    • Advocate for something and show me you think beyond canned messages.  
    • Have more passion for the cause; leaders should always have a voice and right now it doesn’t feel authentic or connected.  
    • Watch out for the negative and outrageous; it gets more attention but it’s not positive or helpful. 
    • Understand me and my realm; be relatable to my world and what I experience on a daily basis. 
    • Give your unique take on something; whether you’re my supervisors or a public figure from one of the brands I like.
    • Use images that evoke memories and emotions and that show they understand who I am; through this understanding, you can present powerful words and photos.
    • Share personal community stories; go into the communities and get to know the social activists and well-known people who can create change.
    • Listen first … really listen; it’s hard to determine if leaders actually listen because retweeting is a form of listening but it appears everyone is just trying to get their content out and this is noise.
    • Communicate without remorse, and with a lot of bias and without supporting evidence; you’ll get attention but not my approval or loyalty.
    • Harness a particular social media platform whether you’re strong at Instagram, Twitter or Facebook Live. 
    • Move to action related to your mission, so it’s not just the words on social media.
    • Take the unpopular belief that’s relevant; sticky popular messages are not held by the majority of the people.
    • Show empathy and be vulnerable; if I see someone sharing struggles or tough points in their career this gets my attention.
    • Share videos with subtitles, which can be powerful and long posts have meaning too.
    • Give the behind the scenes and things I would not see anywhere else.
    • Try humor, which gets my attention, especially if you’re not someone who is necessarily humorous.
    • Use a writing style that’s personal or journal-style writing.
    • Catch my attention by using colors and imagery that’s fun; it gives me a feeling of happiness.
    • Do an interview, on a media outlet that’s informative or interesting, such as Bloomberg and CNBC.
    • Respond to people; no one ever expects the CEO of T-Mobile to respond.
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    What are you doing to capture and retain attention with the people that mean the most to you?

    *The term “Leaders” was defined in the one-on-one interviews as professionals at the respondents’ companies, business professionals speaking on behalf of the companies and the brands they follow or care about, or their political and religious leaders.

    Feature Image Credit: Photo by Igor Miske on Unsplash

    Millennials FEEL First

    Are Leaders Expected to take a FEEL First Approach to Social Media?

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    On June 13th, the #PRStudChat community gathered for a discussion on “Learning Leadership Skills.” Leading our discussion was Ken Jacobs, CEO of Jacobs Consulting & Executive Coaching. Ken and our community of PR students, educators and pros shared their knowledge on how leadership is more than a fancy title, big office or a large salary. With leadership comes the responsibility to inspire and influence others to achieve their goals. Of course, communication plays a large part in a leaders’ success.

    With a passion for communication that builds bridges and genuine relationships, one question during the chat session stood out in my mind. How can leaders communicate more effectively through social media?” 

    The answer to the question, from Ken and our community members, varied. However, the overall sentiment reflected a tremendous opportunity for leaders, if they use social media the right way and they take a human approach.

    Here are a few of the tweets reminding us that leaders can use social media for open and authentic conversations and to show that they care about the people they serve:

    It’s clear from the #PRStudChat tweets to the many studies shared on social media about building loyalty among audiences (especially Millennials) that social community participation is important; it’s a way for leaders to engage and be more approachable and to help people and forge deeper connections with them.

    Now, let’s take a more narrow focus on the Millennial generation. With respect to “what leaders should do” and what “Millennials require” my research and passion project reveals that leaders are falling short with their knowledge and use of social media. They are not fully taking advantage of the helpful and beneficial communications, in many cases.

    For several months, I’ve been interviewing Millennials (born between the years of 1981 and 1996), for a passion project called FEEL First Before You Communicate. I wanted to uncover how Millennials were feeling about their leaders (at their companies, in business, religious and political leaders too) and the way they interacted with them, especially on social media. The responses were candid and had a surprising level of detail I didn’t anticipate regarding what Millennials required from these leaders on social media, as well as how they wanted to express themselves.

    The preliminary results showed that Millennial expectations are not matching the real world scenario that is currently playing out in different social media communities, from business to politics. More than two-thirds of the Millennials interviewed stated that the levels of leadership sharing they’ve experienced are lacking authenticity, understanding, and what they would call “open perspectives,” which bring people together and build the bonds that last.

    Now, take a look at some of the responses from the Millennials about expectations vs. what they are experiencing from the leaders in their lives.

    • I would expect a leader’s communication to be informed and not share their own personal views or biases.
    • I would expect leaders to understand how their audience likes to be communicated with and to strike the right general tone.
    • Sometimes leaders don’t come across as genuine … at least, I haven’t seen any consistent characteristics across fields.
    • Leaders should be relatable and I don’t think leaders come across as relatable today.
    • I expect their EQ to come through loud and clear … this resonates. In order to project genuine emotion … you can’t just regurgitate information.
    • I would expect leaders to be calm and knowledgeable. They should also be engaged with their work and their teams.
    • I would expect leaders to be strong and to lead by example, especially in a world where people post on social media. If you’re not leading by example then you are not a true leader.
    • Leaders should be “that every man” and go about change on behalf of others even if it’s not for their own benefit.

    Here is the text analytics of all of the different responses clearly depicting how interview subjects were feeling about the following question:

    What do you expect from your leaders on social media?

    It’s fairly clear … Millennials want leaders who are more social (that is, who understand social media) and who engage with their audience, show emotion, connect with the community, have a positive demeanor, know it’s about their people, are genuine and who lead by example and with confidence.

    Whether it’s Millennials or any group, what happens when expectations are not met? There is a disconnect and people are less inclined to be open or take the time to listen and understand. If they do engage, then communication is guarded and not on a level of real interest or from a place of genuine care.

    Falling short of expectations on social media can also mean frustration and often results in tuning out the noise. Building genuine relationships takes emotional intelligence. Of course, when it comes to leadership skills, the Emotional Quotient or EQ, such as care, kindness, empathy, understanding, and compassion, has to meet the IQ side of the equation, with knowledge, vision, innovation, professionalism, and confidence, all working in harmony.

    The balance between the EQ and IQ and a communication approach that fills the gap for leaders to connect to build genuine relationships is the FEEL First model. It’s an approach that helps you to Face Fears by being more open, engage with Empathy and true understanding, use Ethics and good judgment in communication and to unleash the Love to match the enthusiasm shared by Millennials and younger generations who are devoted and deeply passionate about their causes.

    The ability to FEEL First before you communicate is the difference between social media that resonates and creates energy and action, and the kind of communication noise that is quickly disregarded, addressed with anger or often blocked in social communities.

    As a leader, are you meeting Millennial expectations and do you FEEL First before you communicate? You can take the FEEL First Test to score yourself … coming soon to the PR Expanded!!

    Featured Image Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

    FEEL First Model Deirdre Breakridge

    Millennial Research Shapes the FEEL First Model

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    In October 2018, I set out on a research journey to learn more about Millennial communication. I wanted to understand where they liked to express themselves and how they wanted to be recognized on social media. I also started to uncover the types of interactions Millennials expected from their “Leaders.” For the purposes of my one-on-one interviews, “Leaders” were defined as their own company leaders, business executives from familiar brands, or from the brands and the causes they cared about, and political leaders too.

    One question was easy to analyze and the results didn’t surprise me. I asked 25 Millennials what advice they would give to leaders on social media. After analyzing their answers and using a tool to create a word cloud, certain words carried more weight and meaning. These included: TRY, UNDERSTAND, SOCIAL, MEDIA, NEED, CARE, GIVE, PEOPLE, RESPOND, MESSAGE, INTERACTIVE AND EMOTION. You can see the word cloud below.

    Diving further into the interviews, the quotes from the Millennials answering this question were just as interesting. Here are a few of my favorite quotes offering advice to their leaders:

    • Be relatable and much more interactive with us.
    • If someone tweets to you, the least you could do is respond.
    • Be clear and concise; our generation is overloaded with far too much information.
    • The message doesn’t have to be perfect; this will make you more relatable and approachable.
    • Show you care about the people behind your organization and brand.
    • Operate your own social media, don’t let someone else; it seems a little shady.
    • Take the time to understand us or your audience in general.
    • Take the time to know us, especially on social media.
    • You need to learn how to communicate through social media.

    Millennials are asking for leaders to be more human and genuine and to show up with the emotional intelligence when they answer questions or interact with them. The smartest leaders will take this information and work on how they communicate through social media. One way to close the gap between what Millennials expect and how their leaders currently communicate is to FEEL first. What does this mean?

    Face Fears – making you more open to different perspectives and not share knee jerk communication

    Engage with Empathy – Don’t just listen but listen actively and ask questions, understand people so they know you care. Think less about your messages and how you can help them.

    Use your Ethics (and good judgment) – Always being accurate, truthful and fair in your interactions. It also means showing up as your authentic self.

    Unleash the Love – If you don’t show your passion, energy, and enthusiasm then why would anyone want to join your cause.

    Here’s a video discussing the research and a new FEEL First Test (a web app) which is coming soon.

    FEEL First Model Leadership & Communication

    Launching the FEEL First Before You Communicate MODEL [INFOGRAPHIC]

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    Communication is at the heart of your business and every relationship you build. With book titles focused on the best ways to engage including, Decency Starts at the Top, by CEO and Chairman, Larry Weber of Racepoint Global and articles focusing on “Workplace Compassion: A Trend Driven by the Changing Workforce” your authenticity, integrity and empathy become front and center at every touchpoint.

    Modern communicators have a responsibility to use communication as a way to build bridges between people and groups; sharing communication to help, uplift and ignite passion and positive momentum. It’s a do “good” and do “no harm” approach. But, with a noisy communication landscape, does communication from businesses professionals, who speak on behalf of their organizations, reach the public in a “do good” manner; in a way that instills trust, expresses kindness, and creates opportunities to build relationships?

    You may come in contact with leaders and business professionals every day. They are your own company executives or the senior executives who speak out on behalf of your favorite brands and social causes. Or, maybe they are the political leaders in your newsfeeds on social media. Regardless of the type of leader, do you think the communication they share is reaching, resonating and helping people, especially when it comes to younger generations? With  Millennials and Generation Z experiencing more depression and anxiety at alarming rates, are leaders today meeting the communication expectations of these groups, or any group they want to reach?

    Now, it’s time to reign in the communication for some self-reflection. Ask yourself an important question. Do you really know what someone else is experiencing before you tweet, blog or post on Facebook? Are you using social media to get closer with people to build your own personal brand? The data you collect and analyze on social media is based on what people want to share with you, and how they want to be seen. Of course, there’s a highlight reel on social media. What you see on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, or any platform does not always give you a clear picture of someone’s life, what is going on in their world or how they are truly feeling.

    FEEL is the optimal word here and what others are feeling. Your communication can either help them, or it can quickly becomes a part of the “noise” that blocks the value, which affects the end goal of any interaction.

    Whether it is you, or the leaders you know, there’s a better way to approach communications when the noise is overwhelming … it’s to FEEL first. If you don’t FEEL as a first step, which means to Face Fears, connect with Empathy, use Ethics and unleash the Love of your mission, then all of your planning may fall on deaf ears. Once you can FEEL, the strategy that you’ve developed will play out not only to connect you, but also to help you engage in a way that is valued and seen as more human and open, creating those longer lasting bonds.

    After a devastating family tragedy last September, I embarked on a research journey. I started to speak with Millennials about communication preferences and began analyzing Women Worldwide interviews with guests focused on leadership and communication (using text analytics). My goal was to see if what Millennials preferred in their communication from leaders is what they were experiencing on social media. Were the characteristics they preferred drawing them closer to their leaders or pushing them farther away?

    Then, when I teamed up with Talkwalker to use their search tool, the themes identified around leaders, communication and emotions and different communication qualities really came to the surface. The lightbulb went on! Seeing the results (in word cloud format) based on a sophisticated Boolean search (yes, Talkwalker helped me here) it appeared that the IQ side of leadership stood out more in conversations. With more than 50% positive sentiment, about 47% neutral and only 3% negative, words such as “knowledge,” “experience,” “confidence,” “strength,”  “professional” were the most prominent in discussions about leaders and communication, across blogs, Twitter, Facebook and other social media platforms.

    But what about the Emotional Quotient (EQ) side of the house? I was surprised that words such as “interpersonal,” “respect”, “feel,” “values,” “real,” and “commitment” took a back seat. What does this say about leaders and communication on social media, when the EQ or the soft skills were much less in the spotlight? You can take a look at a couple of graphics showing the text analytics to see for yourself.

    Boolean Search on Leadership, Communication Qualities and Emotion Graphic !
    Boolean Search on Leadership, Communication Qualities and Emotion Graphic 2

    Keeping the initial research in mind, I’ve taken the first stab at a communication model that may help to close the gap between what Millennials and Gen Z want and the type of communication that’s lighting up social media and may not really be resonating with them. The components of the FEEL First model are as follows:

    •    An audit process to get unstuck, which is the first step in understanding how you’ve been communicating in the past. This is usually a Fix it to Move Forward approach.

    •    Finding the Passion Potential with any group, to make sure that what you believe is relevant to share will actually resonate and have the potential for further engagement with them.

    •    Take the FEEL Test to help you engage more authentically with any audience [there are four parts focused on each piece of the FEEL acronym]

    •    Address your FEEL weaknesses after scoring your test.

    •    Apply the FEEL approach to social media, company team meetings, speaking engagements, and your media interviews.

    •    Measure the FEEL model to see that you’re moving toward genuine communication and relationships that encourage fresh ideas, empathy for all parties, use good judgment in all interactions and unleash a passion that becomes the DNA or the fabric of your relationships.

    The FEEL First Model

    I’ll be building out the model in much more detail in the weeks ahead with exercises and different ways to advance your steps with the FEEL First Approach. All ideas and suggestions are welcomed!

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