My public relations/communication students and I have been discussing soft skills, including emotional intelligence (EQ), for several years.
More recently, the topic has come up in the context of relationship-building, specifically the role that EQ can play in building trust to create authentic, meaningful connections between organizations and diverse audiences. In the spirit of experiential learning, I wanted to turn these conversations into hands-on development opportunities.
Around the same time, I was speaking with Deirdre about her FEEL approach to communication. After learning more about her research and how it relates to EQ, I piloted an optional assignment in an upper-level, strategic communication course.
Assignment Overview
There are three basic components to the assignment:
Review the suggestions, identify one and put it into practice.
Write a brief reflection paper regarding the experience.
Students had about two weeks to do the work. They weren’t required to share their scores but rather consider what they learned as a result of the experience.
A Student Perspective
One student who completed the assignment, David James, a current UMass Amherst senior and communication major, felt that it was a personal confidence booster, as well as a jumping off point to better understanding public relations. He mentioned the importance of empathy, particularly for those who serve as chief relationship agents, to be able to “FEEL others’ thoughts, opinions and emotions on both a macro and micro level.”
David, who is also taking business courses, shared that, “I might not have even appreciated that enough while learning it, but in hindsight now, it covers how we should always go about the PR process. Even in the most high-stress crisis comms situations, PR efforts would benefit from a step back, a deep breath and feeling out how each target public might perceive the organization’s message.”
Overall, this exercise provides an opportunity for continuous learning; one that’s designed to encourage taking a more human approach to communication to enhance interpersonal and organizational relationships.
Jennie Donohue is a Senior Lecturer & Director of PR Curriculum, UMASS Amherst.
How you FEEL determines how you communicate. It doesn’t take a scientific study to know this or to watch your emotions play out on social media. Think about how your feelings translate into actions, reactions and the words that come out of your mouth (or the words in your tweets and/or your Facebook posts). If you’re an optimist, then you will communicate as such. The same goes if you’re the opposite. As a pessimist, your communication would reflect this too. Take on any mood and it is likely your communication relates to how you feel. Now, think about this statement: Why wouldn’t you want to study, understand and improve your feelings, so that they play out positively in your communications and the relationships that result.
Optimism Helps Your Communication
As I sit here with the book, The Optimist Creed and other Inspirational Classics by Christian Larsen, both his book and his Optimist Creed (which is pinned to my wall) remind me of all that’s positive in my daily thought process and interactions. Being positive about others, having peace of mind, finding health and happiness, letting go of mistakes and moving forward toward future achievements are just a few of the elements of the Optimist Creed. Many of these ideals are learned early on in childhood and through years of life experience, family guidance, an educational system, and societal norms, they are adhered to or not. Hopefully, the former is true and you are a living testament to the Optimist Creed.
For Your Relationships: A Pledge for Better Communication
However, what about your communication? Do you pay close attention to what you communicate daily, from the time you wake up in the morning until you lay down at night? Do you have a responsibility to yourself and to the people around you to care about the consequences of your words as they travel through your favorite channels, in any given moment? To my knowledge there is no Communication Checklist or Communications Pledge that you can print out and hang on your wall or post on your refrigerator. If there is, I haven’t seen it yet. Having the Optimist Creed on my wall is a reminder to me every day to strive for better and to keep a healthy and positive attitude. Having a Communications Pledge on my wall would be just as helpful.
I’ve been working on the FEEL First model for well over a year. My team has been diligently gathering data from a FEEL First test online that is scoring how much or how little professionals Face Fears, Engage with Empathy, Live with Ethics and Unleash Love. There are well over 6,000 answers in our database. From everything I’ve learned from my research journey, when you FEEL First you have a better opportunity to understand and manage someone else’s emotions too.
Of course, your ability to FEEL takes constant work … it’s a journey to be more open and to face what makes you uncomfortable. It takes a clear and present mind and heart to be more inclusive of others. It’s harder than you may think to be empathetic when sometimes you may only be touching the surface and you don’t even t know it. It’s not as obvious as you think to live with ethics and good judgment, when little white lies are a way of fooling your brain into larger transgressions. Lastly, if you’re not a demonstrative communicator it may be difficult to let the passion lord or the love flow.
However, the more you practice and also make a commitment to yourself that you can and will FEEL First in your communications, you will slowly move closer to this approach through all of your channels as you deepen your relationships.
The FEEL First Pledge
I mentioned earlier not having a Pledge or a Creed in communications until now … I’ve created a FEEL First Pledge as a reminder that collectively we need better communication. Practicing or saying a pledge daily will help you to move toward greater purpose through your thoughts, words, and actions to create positive impact. Having a Pledge, during an election year, the Coronavirus pandemic, and racial injustice that’s playing out across our county is necessary and needed now. If relationships are based on trust, then your communication is either the bridge that can help others or hurt them.
Where Do We Go From Here?
Words matter more so now than ever. So join me in a Pledge to FEEL First and a commitment to share communication that helps your neighbors, family, friends and colleagues and takes your communication to a new level so you can make a difference. You can download the the FEEL First Pledge below.
I’ve been media training executives for years. The training and exercises were focused on verbal communication and sharing the company’s messaging correctly. These thought leaders were tested in several media situations to see if they could answer questions accurately and in a way that always bridged back to the “talking points.” At the same time, they practiced non-verbal communication; what their bodies were saying as they shared these critical messages. Do the same media training techniques work today in a heated and highly emotional media landscape?
A Different Approach to Media Training
Let’s look at a different approach, one that goes beyond what you expect in media training. What you expect is only part of the equation when dealing with a passionate public and a polarized landscape, from the journalists who share the “news” stories to the audiences who watch, sometimes in awe or other times, in utter shock.
There’s far too much going on in the news not to be human and to react. Daily, you witness what’s happening, from the coronavirus pandemic, the economic concerns and the reopening of business to the racial injustice, protests across the country, and the lack of civil discourse in politics in an election year. The news cycle is fast and furious, and emotions are running high. So what’s the other part of the equation? It’s to take an emotionally intelligent approach to your media conversations and to show up to your interviews and appearances with your EI hat on and your willingness to navigate increasingly tough topics.
Emotional Intelligence and Executive Interviews
Why is emotional intelligence valuable wherever an executive shows up? If you don’t have a good handle on your own emotions, you will not manage others’ feelings. The rule applies to any of your stakeholders and important constituents. The media needs your emotional intelligence too. Building a relationship with journalists and their communities means being a trusted and reliable resource. However, this also translates into showing up to interviews with more than just talking points. You have to be emotionally ready to navigate difficult topics today and how they affect your business (even when you think it’s a “softball” interview).
I could steer you to any number of YouTube videos of interviews with cable news hosts and their guests that have “gone bad” and the tweets and Facebook posts that go viral as a result. However, let’s not focus on the negative. Now, there’s an approach to listen, learn, understand, and to do better in your interviews.
You have to take a FEEL approach to your media interviews. If you’ve been following me, then you know that FEEL stands for face your Fears, engage with Empathy, live with Ethics, and unleash your Love. Your talking points and messaging are still relevant, and so is your body language. However, it’s also your job to tune in and learn how others are showing up and to uncover what they are feeling.
What’s their real agenda? The first step to finding out is to quiet your mind and to be fully present. You may be thinking, “If I’m prepared to answer questions, and I’m really good with my own body language then why does it matter?” When your mind is clear, and you’re open and understanding about what’s going on with your journalist, the media outlet, and the audience, you’re moving from one-time interview to more frequent opportunities and go-to-media expert.
Three Top Reasons to Take a Mindful Approach
If there is any doubt about bringing emotional intelligence to your interviews, here are three top reasons to incorporate a new mindful approach:
When you quiet the chatter, you’re on your toes, fully present, and much more likely to share a thoughtful answer than the quick, pressured response you may regret later.
When your mind is clear, you’re also able to open your frame of reference. Taking the chip off your shoulder and checking your ego at the door helps you step back when you hear something that would typically cause you to have a knee-jerk reaction. Having a clear mind allows you to stop the constant knee-jerking. Instead, you’ll ask a question, which allows a conversation to progress more comfortably.
When you’re fully present and open to hearing different perspectives, you’re also actively listening, which is a vital part of emotional intelligence. Of course, you’ll have more concise and helpful answers when you’re tuned in and listening. You’ll also be able to mirror back information that helps people feel validated about what they’re sharing, even if you’re not in 100% agreement with their views.
If you’re interested in trying a different approach to media, then there’s a FEEL Roadmap with exercises to help you to FEEL First, a new way to prep for your interviews. Completing the activities on the roadmap will prepare you to not only deliver your talking points but also to show up with more than just your messaging. Now, you’ll be EI ready for any interview.
As more news and information is shared about the Coronavirus pandemic, the public is bombarded with messages and the volume of noise increases. Yes, these are uncertain times and communication can either help or it can be confusing. You have to choose wisely how you communicate and interact with the people and the communities around you.
At the same time, the way you’ve operated and shared information in the past, whether it was a month ago or even last week, will be different than how you’ll approach your communications today. In the spirit of helping, giving and FEELing for others, I’ve decided to do something a little different myself.
I’m launching what I call a “555” Series to offer complimentary FEEL consulting to 5 businesses, uplift 5 giving professionals by sharing their resources and provide 5 tips for communicating during times that require leadership focused on Emotional Intelligence (EI). I’ve mentioned in my video that the first 5 businesses or professionals who contact me via email (deirdre@pureperformancecomm.com), will receive a complimentary consulting session to assess how much they FEEL First in their communication with important constituents.
You can check out my video for the full 555 on helping businesses, amplifying the voices of colleagues with giving resources and to learn some simple tips to communicate wearing your EI hat.
Here’s to giving, helping and feeling more. We’re in this together. Stay healthy and be well, my friends.
We are in uncertain times. Your customers, employees, partners, the media and other important constituents are looking to you for helpful information. Unfortunately, a lot of the communication shared in uncertain times ends up confusing and frustrating these groups even more.
As we witness the stock market lows, travel bans, event cancellations and more businesses asking employees to work from home, here are three tips to help guide your communication.
Tip #1: Stick with what you know — be direct and don’t share hunches and guestimates.
Tip #2: Show up with your Emotional Intelligence (EI) so you can respond thoughtfully and not react to challenging communication.
Tip #3: Appreciate the feedback you receive — it’s a gift — even the negative feedback helps you to learn and grow.
Here’s my video discussing these tips in more detail and how they can help you.
It’s time to FEEL First in your communication. I’ve been working on my passion project, the FEEL Model, gathering research about the type of communication that builds relationships and creates stronger bonds. In uncertain times, FEEL (facing Fears, engaging with Empathy, Using Ethics and unleashing Love) can make a difference. As the Coronavirus spreads and new cases are reported in the U.S. and globally, effective, meaningful and valuable communication requires a FEEL First approach.
Check out the tips and please share yours too. Together, we can lead with compassion and understanding, and offer helpful and accurate information to the people who matter the most to us professionally and personally in our lives.
Are you confused about the public
relations job search? Would you like to learn more about finding and landing an
entry-level position in the PR industry?
In this #PRStudChat session, guest Jennie Donohue (@jenniedonohue), senior lecturer and director of the PR curriculum at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, will be joined by @UMassJournalism students to offer tips and insights to kick start your PR career and prepare for your future now.
Jennie, her students (#DonohuePRCases) and the #PRStudChat community will cover several topics during this chat sponsored by @SpinSucks. Join us Tuesday, March 24, at 12 p.m. ET for a dynamic, hour-long discussion about:
Q1. What does the current PR job market look like?
Q2. What are some tips for searching, both online and off, for entry-level PR positions?
Q3. How can I make my application stand out from the crowd? For example, what skills and experiences are PR pros looking for in an entry-level candidate?
Q4. What materials should I include in my portfolio?
Q5. There’s a lot of talk about the importance of networking. How do I get started when I haven’t worked in PR nor have any professional contacts?
Q6. How can I prepare for the interview?
Q7. What are the next steps after the interview?
Q8. I’ve landed my first PR job. Now what? What can I expect to do my first year?
Q9. What happens if I graduate and don’t get a job right away? What should I do?
Q10. Any final suggestions for finding and landing a PR job?
As always, be sure to follow the
#PRStudChat hashtag. You can tweet @PRStudChat, @SpinSucks, @LKPetrolino,
@ValerieSimon or @DBreakenridge in advance with any additional questions
related to “The Future is Now: Landing Your First Job Like A PRo” on March 24th
at noon ET.
About Our Sponsor, Spin Sucks
It began with a simple question asked by Angela Hernandez, then President of PRSSA at Central Michigan University (CMU). “Is PR Right for me?” A follow up blog post by PR 2.0 expert Deirdre Breakenridge inspired a series of direct messages on Twitter between Breakenridge and fellow PR industry pro, Valerie Simon. This was an important question and one that should be explored beyond one student or one blog post. Why not build a community to help students across the country, and even the globe, learn from the experience and perspective of industry professionals … A community where everyone can learn and grow together. Read more
About Our Sponsor, Spin Sucks
Spin
Sucks was started in September 2006 by Gini Dietrich,
an agency founder, author, blogger, CEO, and creator of the PESO Model and PESO Model Certificate.
Our mission? To change the perception of the communications industry. What
began as a simple blog, soon became a movement. Spin Sucks is
the number one PR blog in the world and the go-to resource for forward-thinking
PR professionals who want to learn how to use the PESO model to implement the
strategies and tactics that drive measurable business goals. It’s also a
community where people have fun discussions, brainstorm, ask for help, and make
new friends.
A Guest Post By: Director Ashley Maria & Producer Lea-Ann W. Berst, Pioneers in Skirts
It was the summer of 2015, and filming of this very important impact documentary was going as planned. We had been traveling throughout the United States speaking with women and men about the setback’s women were still facing in their careers. We were learning about the issues unique only to women.
We had hours of incredible character footage
and a strong story arc. Our team estimated we’d finish the film after another
year of following characters and fine-tuning scenes. We were almost done!
But, since we had depleted our savings and the donations we received from friends, we decided to head down the road of launching a Kickstarter campaign. The funds we’d raise would get us out of production and take us into post.
Pioneers in Skirts follows Ashley Maria’s journey as she examines the barriers and setbacks women confront in their careers. Our film came to light at a time when the Pioneers in Skirts topic, to many, was considered a non-issue. We were in an uphill battle when it came to educating the public that gender issues still existed. The word “bias” was not a term associated with women. The word “sexism” was a scary and misunderstood term. And “feminism”…many people we met had no idea that they didn’t have to burn a bra in order to show their support for equal opportunities and treatment for women!
Here we were, about to have a Kickstarter
campaign for a project that many wouldn’t understand until they saw the movie. We
were in a Catch-22 and needed help.
Our PR intern, Lauren McDonald, stepped forward to suggest creative ways of building awareness for the movie and educate the public as we do it. On Lauren’s lead, we reached out to Deirdre Breakenridge for advice and quickly learned that Deirdre is a person who uses her expertise to help amplify others – not just for her clients – but for people who want to find their voices, share their stories, and make a difference.
And, now that the movie is ready to be seen, we are dedicated to sharing lessons-learned with fellow filmmakers. We’ve also started to post behind the scenes career advice videos aimed at helping others elevate in their careers!
On January 30, 2020, we’re kicking off our “Ambition In” speaker
series at the University of Southern California (USC). Our message reaches
across industries, so we are working to influence post-screening discussions
called Ambition in Science, Ambition in Robotics, Ambition in Politics, etc.
We made this film for communities pursuing gender equality
movements of their own, companies looking to better their inclusive culture,
and schools who want their students to be aware of what’s ahead for them.
We especially made this film for the many young women
who need to know: You Are Not Alone.
Work to build an audience of screeners and influencers
Research past successful impact film campaigns and try to emulate the steps they took
When we launch, line up initial, targeted screeners who
can afford screening packages that will allow us to raise much-needed funds, and
are capable of bringing the film into communities and schools
Create buzz and excitement around the film aimed at:
incenting people to want to see the film
incenting companies and nonprofits to want to support our impact efforts
Pioneers
in Skirts is taking its first steps of our impact campaign – with an outcome of
having an international deep dive changing-of-the-world for women who dream big.
Our success could never have happened without the people we met and the support
we received along the way.
Go Pioneers!
By Ashley Maria & Lea-Ann W. Berst
Ashley Maria, Director & Lee-Ann, Producer, Pioneers in Skirts
Pioneers in Skirts is a film from a
daughter-mother team dedicated to fast-tracking the cultural change we need in
order to achieve gender parity in the workplace.
Lea-Ann W. Berst is a Raleigh,
NC-based producer, writer, and activation marketer. She started her
career in the corporate arena, then,
after 17 years, transitioned to competitive positioning consulting with
mid-to-large sized companies. She is
a winner of several technical and leadership awards – including the Triangle Women in Business award and twice receiving the prestigious IBM Award of Excellence!
Lea-Ann entered
her career at a time where she had to fight for many of her career
achievements, but – was shocked to hear her daughter, Ashley, had to fight just
as hard. With years of studio and independent production experience under their
belts, Ashley and her female colleagues started to notice they were
consistently turned down for jobs because of being inexperienced
“women-directors.”
Years of
championing Lea-Ann’s daughter to be and do anything she wanted – wasn’t
working!
That’s when
Lea-Ann and Ashley picked up their cameras to share Ashley’s story; revealing
the career obstacles she and many other women still have to deal with today.
Now that the film
is released, the daughter-mother team is focused on building partnerships and
tactics designed to deepen and advance the impact the film will have on our
culture.
Find out more
about Ashley, Lea-Ann and Pioneers in Skirts by visiting www.pioneersinskirts.com.
It’s time to unveil our 2nd PR Expanded video contest winner. A big congratulations goes to Nicole Morin, a UMASS at Amherst student, for creating her video on “Why PR Professionals Should Practice Strategic Communications.”
By way of contest background, After reading my latest book, “Answers for Modern Communicators,” Professor Jennie Donohue tasked her Introduction to Public Relations class with creating a short educational video sharing tips and insights based on one of three communication practices. The areas of practice included media relations, strategic communication/integrated marketing communication, and employee communication – that all related to the class content.
Nicole, our 2nd winner, is a junior who is pursuing a communication and journalism double major at UMass Amherst. Last semester, Nicole took the introductory public relations course where she learned about the industry, important practices, and skills, as well as the importance of maintaining mutually beneficial relationships. As she continues her undergraduate degree, Nicole is focusing on potential careers in public relations, sports or entertainment broadcasting, as well as media relations and content creation.
Nicole Morin, UMASS at Amherst Student
Take a look at Nicole’s winning video and also give her a congratulatory shout out on social media!
My public relations/communication students and I have been discussing soft skills, including emotional intelligence (EQ), for several years.
I’ve been media training executives for years. The training and exercises were focused on verbal communication and sharing the company’s messaging correctly. These thought leaders were tested in several media situations to see if they could answer questions accurately and in a way that always bridged back to the “talking points.” At the same time, they practiced non-verbal communication; what their bodies were saying as they shared these critical messages. Do the same media training techniques work today in a heated and highly emotional media landscape?
